I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and he is my first boyfriend. He has had several relationships before which didn't last long at all and this is a lot more serious for him. Basically, I love him so much and can not imagine him not being in my life now. I am constantly thinking about him and miss him a lot when we are not together. I never thought I could be so comfortable with someone and I also trust him very much. We get on great together, we never have big arguments and when we do disagree we always find a way to move on. We have talked about marriage, children etc. and these are things we both want. We have met each others families also.
However, when I imagine him being the one I will spend the rest of my life with, I don't really like the idea of it. He doesn't have much going for himself and he has very little ambition. He has very few qualifications, left school at around age 17 and went straight to work, didn't go to college or university. His job isn't great, it is in retail, and I think he earns around the minimum wage. He doesn't drive and has no intention to, apparently he is too scared. He also doesn't really want to ever move away from where we are just now. I, on the other hand, am extremely ambitious. I have one more year left of university, then I have no idea where I am going with my life. I might get a job and this might involve moving away or I might go on to do further study. I think education is very important and I want to do the best I possibly can with my life.
So basically, my boyfriend isn't the sort of person who I would like to be with for the rest of my life in this sense. I just feel like being with him forever might drag me down a bit. I have always wanted to marry someone with a good career who can support a family and who has ambitions in life. But on the other hand, like everything I said before, I love him so much, I can't bear to hurt him, and I can't bear to be without him. If I leave him I might really regret it later in my life, and think why could I not settle for someone who I love and trust, and who loves me, just because I basically think I could do better. I might end up with someone with a great career but who is not loyal.
We have talked about some of this stuff a little. He is aware that I want to do things with my life and that I may well move. He said the solution is he would come with me. I don't know if he actually would because I know he wants to stay here forever. I said it might not work because I might be moving around for a while until I get a stable career and he said he would still stay with me. I asked him what would happen if I decided that it wouldn't work and he said I can't leave him now unless he has done something wrong, like it's not good enough to just say the relationship is not going anywhere now. I asked him what he would do if I did leave him and he said he would be heart broken and said he would kill himself, jokingly, but the fact he said this worries me.
Has anyone been in a similar position and have any advice? I'm not sure what to do.
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