Just a bit of background information. I am 40 and my husband is 44. He works a lot, usually 6 days a week at a job he hates.
Now the issue.... I can't get him off the computer. He has recently started messing around online on a site called Second Life. At first he was just hanging out and chatting with people. We still had a life though. We cuddled daily, talked regularly, etc. The sex has always been an issue. His drive is much much lower than mine. Yes we have talked to a doctor but it done no good because he refuses to take the medication the doctor prescribed. Now he has learned about "owning land" on SL and he just had to do it. Then he started chatting exclusively with a female on there. Now he has learned there are supposely money making opportunities on there as well by making textures and things like that. So him and this girl were working together on that. Then it progressed to his avatar cuddling, grinding and screwing her. They are boyfriend/girlfriend on SL.
So he comes in from work, eats, does me the favor of a 15 minute cuddle and then spends the next 3 or 4 hours online.
I am lonely really really lonely. He doesn't "get" why I am so upset because he says it is only online. We don't talk hardly anymore, we don't go anywhere together, we don't spend quality time together.
Then he tells me tonight that he is going to work on Second Life stuff (textures, meshs, things to sell) and spend time with this other female for the next 3 years. He told me that he would quit but that it would mean working everyday at a deadend job. That he is really hoping this pans outs. That I could ride the wave with him (being lonely, miserable, anxiety ridden, hurt and angry) and see if it works out.
I asked him what if it doesn't work? where will our marriage be in three years? I ask him if our marriage or Second Life was more important to him. Like normal he clammed up. Refused to answer the question.
I don't think I can spend the next three years in the state I am in right now. I think it is better to be lonely and alone rather than with someone and be lonely.
I can't figure out whether to stay or whether to go.
Now the issue.... I can't get him off the computer. He has recently started messing around online on a site called Second Life. At first he was just hanging out and chatting with people. We still had a life though. We cuddled daily, talked regularly, etc. The sex has always been an issue. His drive is much much lower than mine. Yes we have talked to a doctor but it done no good because he refuses to take the medication the doctor prescribed. Now he has learned about "owning land" on SL and he just had to do it. Then he started chatting exclusively with a female on there. Now he has learned there are supposely money making opportunities on there as well by making textures and things like that. So him and this girl were working together on that. Then it progressed to his avatar cuddling, grinding and screwing her. They are boyfriend/girlfriend on SL.
So he comes in from work, eats, does me the favor of a 15 minute cuddle and then spends the next 3 or 4 hours online.
I am lonely really really lonely. He doesn't "get" why I am so upset because he says it is only online. We don't talk hardly anymore, we don't go anywhere together, we don't spend quality time together.
Then he tells me tonight that he is going to work on Second Life stuff (textures, meshs, things to sell) and spend time with this other female for the next 3 years. He told me that he would quit but that it would mean working everyday at a deadend job. That he is really hoping this pans outs. That I could ride the wave with him (being lonely, miserable, anxiety ridden, hurt and angry) and see if it works out.
I asked him what if it doesn't work? where will our marriage be in three years? I ask him if our marriage or Second Life was more important to him. Like normal he clammed up. Refused to answer the question.
I don't think I can spend the next three years in the state I am in right now. I think it is better to be lonely and alone rather than with someone and be lonely.
I can't figure out whether to stay or whether to go.
Put the internet to work for you.
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