I am new to this forum and I registered in the hope that I can discuss a problem that became now very deep for me and to hear other people's opinions, because I can't deal with this problem alone and at this point can't visit a therapist.
I'd try to keep a long story short. A bit of a background info. I have a good social level. I don't sleep around with men even though I have lots of chances to do this and had multiple relationships one of which was constantly on and off for many years, which hurt me deeply, because there the boy was constantly leaving me for other girls and not really treating me ok. Other than that in all other relationships there was no infidelity issues and very good treating.
The problem is with my fiance. We are together from one year. He is from a lower social level than mine. He treats me very good and with the things he does for me it shows that he loves me even thougt after all I don't feel it so. For many months he couldn't stop bragging to me that he had many women in his life and that he slept with a lot of women. He was telling me stories of how he ****ed them with lot's of details, like even how he ****ed with a tampon in and so on and how he ****ed a transsexual. Needless to say this was hard for me to swallow as I never wanted to know such things and never asked to know this. On top for many months he couldn't stop talking with his ex telling her he loves her, with women he ****ed or women which he tried to make more than friends. Since I stormed out at one point, he totally changed about it all - stopped bragging, deleted his ex and these whom he slept with, gave me his passwords and was showing how sorry he is. But it is kind of too late as he brainwashed me with that ****ing with other women and interested he showed. I believe he is sorry, but it is a few months since then and I can't make sex with him, because I associate every move with the details of the stories he told me about. I am disgusted from him. I really need help about this. He put so many pictures in my mind I think this can't be undone. I became depressed. I was accepting all for many months as it is until he got over the border. He was even telling sweet names which he never heard before, but heard them from me, to other women. I know he is sorry, he would correct himself, but I can't touch him anymore after all he put in my mind. Please advice! :(
I'd try to keep a long story short. A bit of a background info. I have a good social level. I don't sleep around with men even though I have lots of chances to do this and had multiple relationships one of which was constantly on and off for many years, which hurt me deeply, because there the boy was constantly leaving me for other girls and not really treating me ok. Other than that in all other relationships there was no infidelity issues and very good treating.
The problem is with my fiance. We are together from one year. He is from a lower social level than mine. He treats me very good and with the things he does for me it shows that he loves me even thougt after all I don't feel it so. For many months he couldn't stop bragging to me that he had many women in his life and that he slept with a lot of women. He was telling me stories of how he ****ed them with lot's of details, like even how he ****ed with a tampon in and so on and how he ****ed a transsexual. Needless to say this was hard for me to swallow as I never wanted to know such things and never asked to know this. On top for many months he couldn't stop talking with his ex telling her he loves her, with women he ****ed or women which he tried to make more than friends. Since I stormed out at one point, he totally changed about it all - stopped bragging, deleted his ex and these whom he slept with, gave me his passwords and was showing how sorry he is. But it is kind of too late as he brainwashed me with that ****ing with other women and interested he showed. I believe he is sorry, but it is a few months since then and I can't make sex with him, because I associate every move with the details of the stories he told me about. I am disgusted from him. I really need help about this. He put so many pictures in my mind I think this can't be undone. I became depressed. I was accepting all for many months as it is until he got over the border. He was even telling sweet names which he never heard before, but heard them from me, to other women. I know he is sorry, he would correct himself, but I can't touch him anymore after all he put in my mind. Please advice! :(
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