Hi....
Today, while my h was in a good mood this morning (or seemed to be)....he heard me putting on the tv in our bedroom at 7:15 am while our son was still sleeping.
I didn't realize it was loud (fyi...he usually wakes b/t 7-8 am anyways)....
my H came in the bedroom and addressed me as follows in a "bully" way: "So...you don't seem to care if our son is woken by your blaring the TV, I guess"
Just "itching" for a fight.
I said in a calm way, "Of course I care, I didn't realize it was loud".
And didn't say any more while he ranted about how I complain if he blares it at nite when I'm trying to sleep....and just started RAGING and I didn't respond and left the room.
I think, all in all, I handled it better than trying to engage him.
However, at the advice of my counselor (which I haven't followed just yet) I was thinking of saying the following to him tonite:
If he asks if I'm mad or upset, I want to say, "Remember 6 months ago when I suggested marital counseling and you refused? stating that we can work on our communication ourselves? Well......here's my opportunity to tell you that I think often times you make sense in what you say.....it's logical that you want Jake to sleep later but your delivery and the way you talk to me is so aggressive that often times I just can't "hear" you or process what you're trying to say..."
That I've told him in the past that I have needed a kinder tone and that it doesn't seem to register.....and that maybe we can work together on your anger......(or him alone?) so that this doesn't continue to be an issue in our marriage?
These are just thoughts......but I wish his bully-ish way of talking would END...
Thanks.
Any men have some thoughts, too?
Today, while my h was in a good mood this morning (or seemed to be)....he heard me putting on the tv in our bedroom at 7:15 am while our son was still sleeping.
I didn't realize it was loud (fyi...he usually wakes b/t 7-8 am anyways)....
my H came in the bedroom and addressed me as follows in a "bully" way: "So...you don't seem to care if our son is woken by your blaring the TV, I guess"
Just "itching" for a fight.
I said in a calm way, "Of course I care, I didn't realize it was loud".
And didn't say any more while he ranted about how I complain if he blares it at nite when I'm trying to sleep....and just started RAGING and I didn't respond and left the room.
I think, all in all, I handled it better than trying to engage him.
However, at the advice of my counselor (which I haven't followed just yet) I was thinking of saying the following to him tonite:
If he asks if I'm mad or upset, I want to say, "Remember 6 months ago when I suggested marital counseling and you refused? stating that we can work on our communication ourselves? Well......here's my opportunity to tell you that I think often times you make sense in what you say.....it's logical that you want Jake to sleep later but your delivery and the way you talk to me is so aggressive that often times I just can't "hear" you or process what you're trying to say..."
That I've told him in the past that I have needed a kinder tone and that it doesn't seem to register.....and that maybe we can work together on your anger......(or him alone?) so that this doesn't continue to be an issue in our marriage?
These are just thoughts......but I wish his bully-ish way of talking would END...
Thanks.
Any men have some thoughts, too?
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