I'm dating a girl who has recently dropped out of uni and all of her friends live on the other side of the country. I got in touch with her through facebook because I have little in common with the girls I've dated recently and I also want to do more non-alcohol social things (she doesn't drink unlike everyone else I know). She doesn't work and doesn't really spend time with anyone besides family and me.
I've been talking to her for two months and I've been out with her 4-5 times. I talked through some of the worries I have with her, mainly that we have no where to be alone (she shares a bedroom, her sister has no money to go out, my house isn't feasible), on Thursday and I said I didn't know if we were going to work out. However on Friday we booked a hotel and slept together which I think was probably a big mistake and I really regret doing it now.
Essentially my problems with her are that: 1) She seems bitter and resentful about things that happened to her years ago and talks about them alot despite the fact we have not known each other long 2) I feel comfortable with her rather than really passionate, I find her physically attractive but fear we lack chemistry, 3) Our living arrangements make time for privacy v. difficult 4) She is a selfish and lazy lover 5) She seems a little self-absorbed in the respect that the majority of the time she talks about herself 6) I fear my family and friends would have difficulty accepting her which wouldn't be such a dealbreaker if I liked her more 7) Last night and last Saturday I have kissed other girls whilst drunk, I didn't view this as cheating as we are only dating but I don't think I'm ready for a relationship with the kinda responsibilities this one would bring
She has a history of depression and told me she self-harmed when she was in school and considered suicide whilst at uni. There are arguments at home, her parents have recently divorced, her younger brother is acting out by having regular temper tantrums in the house and smoking weed. She says she's so glad that I've come into her life. Ultimately she's a good person and doesn't deserve to be messed about, I really wish I hadn't slept with her it makes it 10x harder because it looks like I've just got what I wanted now. I feel rotten, I do care about her but since I've gotten to know her better I really don't think we're compatible.
I'm just worried about how she is going to react if I end it, I really don't want to hurt her, it'll be even harder on her if I keep the relationship going longer. I want to be honest with her but I feel so guilty and I'm worried about what she'll do. If I continue to see her I won't be happy and I'd be lying to her, if I break off she'll be lonely and miserable again. Maybe my opinion on her will change, I don't know. What should I do?
I've been talking to her for two months and I've been out with her 4-5 times. I talked through some of the worries I have with her, mainly that we have no where to be alone (she shares a bedroom, her sister has no money to go out, my house isn't feasible), on Thursday and I said I didn't know if we were going to work out. However on Friday we booked a hotel and slept together which I think was probably a big mistake and I really regret doing it now.
Essentially my problems with her are that: 1) She seems bitter and resentful about things that happened to her years ago and talks about them alot despite the fact we have not known each other long 2) I feel comfortable with her rather than really passionate, I find her physically attractive but fear we lack chemistry, 3) Our living arrangements make time for privacy v. difficult 4) She is a selfish and lazy lover 5) She seems a little self-absorbed in the respect that the majority of the time she talks about herself 6) I fear my family and friends would have difficulty accepting her which wouldn't be such a dealbreaker if I liked her more 7) Last night and last Saturday I have kissed other girls whilst drunk, I didn't view this as cheating as we are only dating but I don't think I'm ready for a relationship with the kinda responsibilities this one would bring
She has a history of depression and told me she self-harmed when she was in school and considered suicide whilst at uni. There are arguments at home, her parents have recently divorced, her younger brother is acting out by having regular temper tantrums in the house and smoking weed. She says she's so glad that I've come into her life. Ultimately she's a good person and doesn't deserve to be messed about, I really wish I hadn't slept with her it makes it 10x harder because it looks like I've just got what I wanted now. I feel rotten, I do care about her but since I've gotten to know her better I really don't think we're compatible.
I'm just worried about how she is going to react if I end it, I really don't want to hurt her, it'll be even harder on her if I keep the relationship going longer. I want to be honest with her but I feel so guilty and I'm worried about what she'll do. If I continue to see her I won't be happy and I'd be lying to her, if I break off she'll be lonely and miserable again. Maybe my opinion on her will change, I don't know. What should I do?
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