I found this on line today while looking for some answers:
"A good marriage is best friends with passion. Without the passion, you just have a friendship. For some, being companions is sufficient. But for most, it is not."
That sums up my issues to a tee. Until recently I convinced myself I am okay with a good companion, but we had a blow out that lasted over a month back in September followed by a heart to heart after we finally made up and he admitted that he knows his lack of intimacy and communication skills are ruining our marriage, then proceeded to do absolutely NOTHING to improve it.
He made it pretty clear going in some 13+ years ago he was without passion, and I guess I accepted it or at least settled for all the rest of what he had to offer, but the no communication thing is killing me. He just refuses to talk. When I try to talk to him, I am usually met with - not now, you will ruin my dinner or not now, I won't be able to sleep or work or whatever. Sometimes he just starts a fight and talks over me so it goes nowhere. I find myself having whole converstaions with him in my head because I can't really have them out loud.
I guess the biggest thing now is I am thinking am I now expecting him to change just because he acknowledged he should? We've been sleeping in separate rooms for over a month and a half this last time, and I get the sense he is ok with that as long as we can pretend nothing is wrong in public, eat meals and watch tv together. The limbo is making me insane, though.
"A good marriage is best friends with passion. Without the passion, you just have a friendship. For some, being companions is sufficient. But for most, it is not."
That sums up my issues to a tee. Until recently I convinced myself I am okay with a good companion, but we had a blow out that lasted over a month back in September followed by a heart to heart after we finally made up and he admitted that he knows his lack of intimacy and communication skills are ruining our marriage, then proceeded to do absolutely NOTHING to improve it.
He made it pretty clear going in some 13+ years ago he was without passion, and I guess I accepted it or at least settled for all the rest of what he had to offer, but the no communication thing is killing me. He just refuses to talk. When I try to talk to him, I am usually met with - not now, you will ruin my dinner or not now, I won't be able to sleep or work or whatever. Sometimes he just starts a fight and talks over me so it goes nowhere. I find myself having whole converstaions with him in my head because I can't really have them out loud.
I guess the biggest thing now is I am thinking am I now expecting him to change just because he acknowledged he should? We've been sleeping in separate rooms for over a month and a half this last time, and I get the sense he is ok with that as long as we can pretend nothing is wrong in public, eat meals and watch tv together. The limbo is making me insane, though.
Put the internet to work for you.
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