wife cheating with other woman

We have been married 12 years. We have 2 small children. She has been acting very secretly the last couple of months. She pass protected everything. She never lets her cell phone out of her site. I knew in my gut something was going on but until the other night did not have confirmation. Recently i told her I noticed her putting in pass code for her phone so I asked her for code. She refused and it got pretty heated. Eventually she gave it up but I told her I trust her and didn't look at it. A few days later she left phone on nightstand while showering so i took a look. There were very explicit sexual texts between her and her girlfriend. They obviously have been together. To complicate this she lives right next door. She is also married but with no children. We have been out with the couple recently and even went to a concert the 4 of us. I found an email from her on my wifes computer describing the concert and her feelings about her and how she couldn't wait to be with her again. I just tried to check my wifes phone again and she changes her pass code again so I can't get in it. To complicate this even more from what I read this woman is obsessed with my wife. They are leaving on a girls trip this week for a few days and of course all the other girls that were supposed to go have backed out for various reasons. I have an appt. with an attorney next week. I don't want her to go on the trip but feel I need to keep it together to protect myself and my children. Nothing good can come out of this. I love my children more than anything and even though I work full time I am the primary caregiver. My wife has always told me she does not really like kids and may have never had them if it wasn't for me. She has a masters degree but does not want to work either. Should I confront her now or wait to get my ducks in a row first? I don't trust her at all. All I ever wanted was a family and now i see nothing good. My poor kids. I'm not sure whether to confront her now or wait? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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