my wife's split-personality vs. my family

Me and my wife have been married for 2 and half years- 34 and 32 yrs old. We both are from Asia, I came to USA about 10 yrs back and my wife came 2 yrs back. Since day 1 of living together - we have issues. I find her very possessive and the most insecure person in the whole world. She lives in her own fantasy world where she is always right. She is an angel if I follow everything to please her. But there is another part of her personality, where she can be violent or cry baby – I am the only one who sees that. I have been lucky, that cops never showed up during one of those incidents. My wife has deep down hatred for my parents, brother, uncles, cousins -everyone in my family. My Wife has always this thing that she is from a rich family and my whole family is backward. If I could just disconnect with everyone in my family - our life will be good. But, I just cannot. I cannot live without talking to my parents or family members. We always have been very close. And they are integral part of my life. Loving/respecting them is not my duty or obligation, but it's life. I just cannot detach. I want to take care of my parents when they are old. I want then to live with us here in USA. I cannot just forget what hardships they have gone through for making me what I am today. The origin of my W's hatred comes from the fact that I love my parents a lot. My wife thinks that I help everyone in my family financially too and buy gifts - which is party true. But I want to do all this. Things got to the worst when my mother was visiting us about 2 months back. My wife was about 9 mo pregnant. Things started with small stuffs. My wife will always complain about the things my mom will do. Then my mom will say something, then my wife will give a lecture. In short, my wife was so pissed one evening that she shouted at mother: "I did not ask you to come here and live with us, your son did" "You have ruined our family - You can just go from here". That was a bad night, I took my mom to a friend's place and she lived there for like two weeks. She was just waiting for the baby to come up and then she could just leave for India. However, after the baby came, I had to bring my mother back because I was really tired and I needed some help at home. I knew this may not going to work but I had no choice. However, just after like 10 days,my wife verbally abused her again and kicked her out of the house. Her words :"ask this woman to leave". "she came here to ruin our family". She has to go right now. SHE HAS TO GO. (yes, it was louder than it sounds). The main reason of her misbehavior stems from my talking to mother after work, or taking her out for errands - W thought my mother is taking control over me - but that's not true. I will copy paste the incident that night from my diary: **** Things started with: I asked her to put some better clothes - I could see her underwear. I asked her because we have a guest (mom) these days at our place. I would not have cared if it were just me and my wife. She did not say much. Then she calls me in the bed room. Her words : "Your mom has to go right now. I can cook my own food. Bla bla... She has ruined our lives." Me:"Mom is not going anywhere if you want to go , you can". We yell at each other. She gets pissed, her words: "if you like her so much why don't you just have her!" It makes me angry- I get out of the bed room. My mother is in the other room , and possibly heard our shouting. My W comes out of her bed room. She keeps talking **** about my mother. Mother comes out of her room. Her words : xxx, what did I do wrong? W's words: "It's you who have done everything, we were happier before, please go from my life". My mom cries. I asked mom to go inside the room and do not say anything between us. Because, whatever my mother says that will be a negative thing. She goes inside. Me and my W keep yelling at each other- the baby is in the bed room and probably listening but asleep. Things get bad - W start throwing chairs. Her words : I want her to GO RIGHTNOW. YES RIGHTNOW. SHE RUINED US. I shout too - her words make me sad and angry- "if my mom leaves, I am leaving too and not coming back. Do whatever." She goes towards the room my mom is in. She pounds at the door, door opens. Her words "You have to go right now. This is what you came for, to ruin our lives. You want us to be separated. You want us to be divorced. You just leave. GET OUT from here - it's my home." W comes to me :"she has to go , make her out RIGHTNOW". I say: give me 15 minutes and I will take her to somewhere. She :"NO. RIGHTNOW means RIGHTNOW." It's about mid night - I just hope some body does not call 911 and cops show up. I kinda wished for that - I did not want to live any single moment with this girl. I go to mom's room. Ask her to pack the bags -"we are leaving". Mom is crying. I am crying, and my wife is being a bi%$h. She could be so unreasonable and insensitive - I never knew! It hurts. It kills. Mom is packing the bag on the carpet in her room. I am standing there- sad and distraught - what the F$%^ I have done to my life. My mother does not deserve all these. Meanwhile, W comes to the room. She knows I am also leaving with my mother. Her words: "Please do not go - I do not care if she (looking at my mom with known disgust) lives here or not, but I cannot live without you". She has absolutely zero respect for the people - I love /admire/respect. How can someone call it love? If this is love - I do not give a damn! She treated my mother like a dirt. I can still see the disgust on my W's face when she ever talk about my mother. About midnight: Anyway, I got mom's luggage and came out of the apartment. My mom cried. I had tears. Never imagined such a good bye for her. She could not see her granddaughter before she left. It was bad. We went to a friend's place and lived there for another 2-3 days. Then she left. ******* I can go with the many incidents here- but I will stop . I have been thinking of separation, and I would like to have your views. We have 2 months old baby and things are going to be difficult. I can see this relationship would not last long. I cannot keep letting things happen. I can see a pattern. I do not want to feel like a slave in my home. My Wife has no regrets of what she has done and how much hurt she has caused. Her words: "What I did to your mother- she deserved it." It's not the first time she has shown this misbehavior but it has happened in the past. I am more sad that she does n't even realize that her actions hurt me. People may argue that it was all my mother's fault but still you do not kick your husband's mother out in the middle of night in a foreign land. She lives in her own world where she is the victim and I and my whole families are culprits.

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