Advice on how to tell children

Almost 2 years ago I suffered from depression and I was turning into a person I didn't want to be. I wanted to be normal again and feel alive and be a good mom to my 3 kids. I knew the cause of my depression but my husband didn't believe it as he does not believe depression is an illness. I knew I had to leave the environment and the place I was living in. My husband said that I could leave if I wanted and take the kids but he would not leave. I could not believe it and hoped he would follow us, sooner or later. Long story short, now we are living in 2 separate countries and he sees his kids once a year for 4-6 weeks but calls the kids via Skype every day. He has detached from me and says that he suffered a lot when I took the kids from him. He told me in January, after his visit, that he started seeing someone else ( a woman 11 years younger ). (During his visit I thought we were together and were trying to work on our marriage...but he was hiding something. When I asked if there was someone else he said "no". Later on he said he lied because he did not want to complicate the situation, he wanted just to spend time peacefully with the kids). Now, the problem is that the kids have no idea we are not together even if we live in 2 separate countries and they see him once a year only. My question is what and how to tell the kids....because he does not want to tell them anything....he says he does not know what he wants...and does not know what to tell the kids except the fact that mommy and daddy don't agree with each other anymore. He also says he doesn't want to tell the children that there is another woman in his life because he doesn't know how and he doesn't have the strength to tell them ( his words). My in-laws know about the other woman but the say he told them recently that the relationship stopped because "it had no future". When I asked him about this he said he just said he did not want to talk about it. I asked him if he is coming only for the kids or is there anything else left, any desire for reconciliation. He said " I am coming for the kids". I asked him ( by email) if there is any intention of repairing our relationship, when he comes for a holiday in 3 months time. He avoided a response but I insisted and finally said that " if you really want and answer then the answer today is "no".

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