Mild domestic violence? men please help

My husband and I are in our thirties and have two children and a lot on our plates right now.. We got into a horrible fight a few nights ago, a conversation we've had many times before. He called me a the c-word, I poured four of his beers down the sink, and he responded by handling me roughly to stop me. I repeated told him hands off, but he held my wrists and told me he wasn't letting me act stupid. The only closure of the fight he would give me were callous remarks and a general attitude of non-participation. He concluded that I have psychological issues (something he only brings up in arguments) Years ago, we had two incidents of mild domestic violence (pushing, that sort of thing). He promised me solemnly that it would never happen again. He's really not a violent person. I'm devoted to my marriage and I'm not looking to divorce. He apologized a few minutes after but hasn't mentioned it since. I've been on edge ever since and he's going on as if nothing happened. I don't even want to look at him. He doesn't see it as a big deal and it doesn't help me let go of my anger. I love my husband dearly and I know he loves me. He doesn't understand how degrading this is to me and I don't even know how to bring it up. We can't afford counseling, and he feels that I'm the only one who really needs it anyway. How do we move on from here?

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