I need some help

OK so I am sort of in a bad place. My wife and I have been together for 11 years. We have been married for 5. We have two kids one 10 and one 5. I am not an easy person to live with i'm sure. I get mad about things and sometimes will go a few days without talking to her other than important things. But I have been trying to work on this. We are also both very busy with the kids activities and work. We don't get much time together. But we have been trying to work on this. Last week I did some work on her phone. I kind of felt like something was up and being an IT person by trade i know how to look at deleted things. I really didn't want to look and I know it makes me a bad person but I couldn't stop myself. I found messages on her phone to a guy she went to prom with like 16 years ago. It was stuff that wasn't explicit or anything just tore me up. Talking about how it would be hard to meet him and stay good. Or hard to keep her hands off of him. She had set two dates to meet him and he lives a few hours away. So I told her about this and she was upset that I found them. She wasn't really mad I looked. She said she just didn't ever want to hurt me. She would have never have meet the guy. She just felt like we were becoming room mates. She said she needed the attention. She went to the point of telling me she felt screwed up looking for attention from him because she felt like she couldn't tell me. I understand that i'm not an easy guy to be with. I don't talk about my feeling much. But I love this woman with everything I've got. I never wanted to do anything to push her to do something like this. I have taken her for granted more times than I can to talk about. I always thought no matter what the problem we would get through it. We are both tough and care for too much about our family to let something ruin it. She is the best mother any kid could ask for and only wants the best for our kids. We agreed to start working on our communicating and I have taken it upon myself to be a better husband. This scared the crap out of me. She told the guy she couldn't talk to him any longer and to my knowledge she hasn't. But I still get that funny feeling like she is. I am having trouble trusting her. This is the first time in 11 years I haven't been able to. I have started making time to spend with her and texting her through the day. She seems really happy right now and thats all I want. I guess I am just asking if what I am feeling is normal? I've never felt this way before. We both agreed that erasing this from our past and moving forward was the best thing. I guess I am having trouble keeping up my end of the deal. Any advise on how to rebuild my trust in her.

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629984