I met a girl the other day. We seem to hit it off and have great chemistry, but something is bugging me lately.
She has some obvious trust issues and I can definitely see and feel a lot of pain within her. It became really clear when we were getting intimate.
...and I don't know if I can be in a long-term relationship with a woman like that. I am wondering if I should just end this early. You see my ex-wife had trust issues and was abused emotionally and physically. She never opened up to me and that caused all sorts of problems. In the end, it didn't work out and the core truth was that I was not able to sympathize or understand what she went through and I was always accused of being cold and lacking empathy. She was right. I have no clue what it's like to abused. Yes all women are different but I still refuse to repeat the same mistake.
Bit about me...I am the type of guy that can discuss literally anything at anytime and the only thing that seems to bother me is when people disrespect my house by not cleaning up after themselves. Truth is, I don't lack empathy and I can be sympathetic, but I have 0 trust issues. I am a very detached person and to an outsider I could easily be perceived as a goof or a ****. I am extremely care-free and optimistic.
And it's been tough. I'm slowly understanding what my shaman teacher told me; "that there are many people with many problems and this physical plane is in a way like a massive hospital. There are lots of people needing healing and you must not forget the healing you have done on yourself to become whole again."
I don't think I want to be in a long-term relationship with a woman with trust issues and I can't help how I feel. I don't know how to tell her this. Here I am in the now, and come, completely open, to talk about anything or to feel deeply, to give you my everything on the drop of a hat, and people just aren't used to that. People get fearful and doubtful. I'm getting tired of it. I don't think I am being impatient either and I can't help but look ahead at what may come.
Last week, I had three friends approach me and tell me how they were sexually abused via Tinder. Guy comes over, starts taking advantage of her, woman is helpless, guy leaves, woman calls the cops and family/friends and so forth. I am getting really sick and tired of hearing about men abusing women and having to deal with the aftermath.
Anyways, it's part rant and it's also part inquiry. Everybody has problems in one way or another, and I accept everybody for everything, good and bad....but this whole sexual intimacy trust thing...this is aggravating me.
I am asking too much to find a partner who has not been sexually abused? Is this what dating in the 21st century has become?
She has some obvious trust issues and I can definitely see and feel a lot of pain within her. It became really clear when we were getting intimate.
...and I don't know if I can be in a long-term relationship with a woman like that. I am wondering if I should just end this early. You see my ex-wife had trust issues and was abused emotionally and physically. She never opened up to me and that caused all sorts of problems. In the end, it didn't work out and the core truth was that I was not able to sympathize or understand what she went through and I was always accused of being cold and lacking empathy. She was right. I have no clue what it's like to abused. Yes all women are different but I still refuse to repeat the same mistake.
Bit about me...I am the type of guy that can discuss literally anything at anytime and the only thing that seems to bother me is when people disrespect my house by not cleaning up after themselves. Truth is, I don't lack empathy and I can be sympathetic, but I have 0 trust issues. I am a very detached person and to an outsider I could easily be perceived as a goof or a ****. I am extremely care-free and optimistic.
And it's been tough. I'm slowly understanding what my shaman teacher told me; "that there are many people with many problems and this physical plane is in a way like a massive hospital. There are lots of people needing healing and you must not forget the healing you have done on yourself to become whole again."
I don't think I want to be in a long-term relationship with a woman with trust issues and I can't help how I feel. I don't know how to tell her this. Here I am in the now, and come, completely open, to talk about anything or to feel deeply, to give you my everything on the drop of a hat, and people just aren't used to that. People get fearful and doubtful. I'm getting tired of it. I don't think I am being impatient either and I can't help but look ahead at what may come.
Last week, I had three friends approach me and tell me how they were sexually abused via Tinder. Guy comes over, starts taking advantage of her, woman is helpless, guy leaves, woman calls the cops and family/friends and so forth. I am getting really sick and tired of hearing about men abusing women and having to deal with the aftermath.
Anyways, it's part rant and it's also part inquiry. Everybody has problems in one way or another, and I accept everybody for everything, good and bad....but this whole sexual intimacy trust thing...this is aggravating me.
I am asking too much to find a partner who has not been sexually abused? Is this what dating in the 21st century has become?
Put the internet to work for you.
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