I have been with my husband 5 years, married for a few months. So we are newlyweds in a way, but have been together so long, that we're past that stage, if that makes sense.
We have had some sexual "issues" for a long time. It's always bothered my husband, but he tries not to let it get to him and accept me for who I am. He tries to put it out of his mind and make the best of it, but it always comes back up. It came up recently for the first time since we've been married.
My husband wants me to be more sexy, erotic, seductive, etc. He feels i'm not in touch with my sexuality and have no idea how to be erotic or seductive. It's not an issue of sex iteself, but rather embodying a sexual presence and attitude and freely expressing it.
We have sex and it's good when we do have it. We have it fairly regularly i'd say. Usually he initiates it, which I prefer and feel most comfortable with. I've been initiating more over the last year because he was getting tired of being the only one. But it is certainly not even. But i've gotten better with that. For the most part, I am happy to have sex whenever he wants to and rarely turn him down. I participate and am alive, you could say, during it. I feel that's pretty good and I am happy with that. My needs are met by this and I feel like our sexual situation is much better than some couples.
But that's not enough anymore. He wants more. He wants me to just know how to seduce him, be a vixen, take charge sexually, and freely unleash. But the problem is that I can't say I really want to change that element of myself. I am a goofy, silly, and sweet girl. I like to go out dancing and dress sexy, but as far as making that a way of life daily, it feel so foreign to me. I don't know how to be that way and don't think it should be that big of a problem. But it's starting to affect our marriage. He even said he finds himself looking for that elsewhere because I can't seem to do that for him.
Essentially, I'm responsive and into to it if he wants it, but I'm not really proactive or "make" it happen.
We just moved and have been stressed and our lives are in a rut. But he says it's not an excuse, as it's been a problem for a long time. And he's right.
What should I do? Help!
Btw, I'm 24 years old. Healthy and fit. We have a 3 year old son which certainly has changed our sex life some, but not to the point where we should have this problem.
We have had some sexual "issues" for a long time. It's always bothered my husband, but he tries not to let it get to him and accept me for who I am. He tries to put it out of his mind and make the best of it, but it always comes back up. It came up recently for the first time since we've been married.
My husband wants me to be more sexy, erotic, seductive, etc. He feels i'm not in touch with my sexuality and have no idea how to be erotic or seductive. It's not an issue of sex iteself, but rather embodying a sexual presence and attitude and freely expressing it.
We have sex and it's good when we do have it. We have it fairly regularly i'd say. Usually he initiates it, which I prefer and feel most comfortable with. I've been initiating more over the last year because he was getting tired of being the only one. But it is certainly not even. But i've gotten better with that. For the most part, I am happy to have sex whenever he wants to and rarely turn him down. I participate and am alive, you could say, during it. I feel that's pretty good and I am happy with that. My needs are met by this and I feel like our sexual situation is much better than some couples.
But that's not enough anymore. He wants more. He wants me to just know how to seduce him, be a vixen, take charge sexually, and freely unleash. But the problem is that I can't say I really want to change that element of myself. I am a goofy, silly, and sweet girl. I like to go out dancing and dress sexy, but as far as making that a way of life daily, it feel so foreign to me. I don't know how to be that way and don't think it should be that big of a problem. But it's starting to affect our marriage. He even said he finds himself looking for that elsewhere because I can't seem to do that for him.
Essentially, I'm responsive and into to it if he wants it, but I'm not really proactive or "make" it happen.
We just moved and have been stressed and our lives are in a rut. But he says it's not an excuse, as it's been a problem for a long time. And he's right.
What should I do? Help!
Btw, I'm 24 years old. Healthy and fit. We have a 3 year old son which certainly has changed our sex life some, but not to the point where we should have this problem.
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