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What Affirmative Consent Looks Like

Not wanting to participate in the other thread anymore...but do want to discuss the topic of AC.

Someone mentioned that AC would require women to actually say "yes, I want to have sex with you".

I totally agree, this is what women will have to be able to say. If they are not feeling comfortable doing this, then why are they comfortable having sex at all? Gone are the days where you could just give a come hither glance and expect a man to know this means yes. We can't be like that anymore, because there is too much risk for misunderstanding.

All of the young people I know get this and have no problems just saying yes, including women.

A lot of the men who still protest the AC concept, grew up in a time when they were schooled by other men that the way to get into a woman's pants was by escalation. You keep pushing the envelope, she either keeps going along, or if she didn't want to any longer she was basically expected to sit up and slap you across the face for "crossing the line". Anything less than this was considered a soft yes, please keep pushing the boundaries.

And of course, some women did enjoy this type of escalation and did not want to just say "yes, I want to have sex with you". Partially this was because she would be considered a sl*t if she did so, so she had to wait for the guy to push her along rather than state her desires.

Also, sometimes she just didn't know if she wanted to or not until they got to the point of going for it.

Again...those days are gone. If people are adult enough to have sex, they are adult enough to use condoms and say "yes I want to have sex with you". Anyone not able to do this should wait until they are able to.

I personally am not following the debate surrounding the laws about AC, I am only in tune with the sex positive concept about it. Remember too, there was a time when people scoffed at the idea of wearing condoms. Now it is understood and accepted that you really need to wear one, for your protection and your partner's. The same is true for AC. It protects both of you.

In a marriage things are different and AC can look anyway you both want it to look.

Here's a great video by the lovely Laci Green about consent. This is stuff most young people easily understand and adopt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_CpIbhkZco

It is really mostly the older crowd who don't get it...and that is basically because their early sexual experiences were much different (and more secretive, shamed, and unaccepted by their elders) than the young people now are having.

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