Sounds kinda weird but my Husband and I have been together for over 7 years, married for over 2 years. (one toddler and one on the way) Since the beginning I knew he had a thing for feet. When I am tired or touched out I like being able to give him my feet and 'calm him down'. We have always had a hard time finding a balance with the feet thing though, my Husband is a very focused man. He likes to focus on one thing at a time, so if it is fixing the house or our cars or working on his projects, and then of course his needs. I guess in the past I always figured that he works so hard that I need to just give in and let him enjoy. Except that I end up feeling left out and empty. When I have asked for him to focus more on me it feels like a very half hearted effort and it hurts. For instance - for mothers day (back in May this is Aug. now) He got me a movie for a date night that we could watch together after our son is sleeping. It is still in its packaging.. . He will take me out every week to dinner at my request but then I think a lot of times he at least wants SOMETHING in return... (it isn't all about feet for him but it sure feels that ways a lot..)
I am pregnant, I was nursing before I got pregnant, I do realize that my sexual desires are not as high as they could be because of this. I REALLY do work on being open to sex in general and on average we have sex about 3 times per week, and about once per week he gets 'feet sex' (which counts for me..) He has told me that when I am pregnant he gets REALLY needy, which probably explains a little of everything.. but I was feeling this way to a degree before the pregnancy and I want help finding the balance so that we can both be satisified.
A few weeks ago he made out this chart about how I 'get my way' more often than he does. Basically, every day that we do not have sex of any sort that counts towards what I want, and every time we have sex in a position of my choosing that counts towards what I want because it doesnt fulfill his needs nad every time we have 'feet sex'... it counts towards his wants. Except that I am not always left satisfied after sex even if it was in a position of my choosing... So, I am sure you can see where that was going...
I have read where other women are excited to have a man who likes feet because they can have pedicures and buy all the shoes they want ect.. and that is just not something that has happened. I take care of my feet (to the best that my growing belly allows) and I have never otherwise been a huge shoe person, a few high heels (which he bought with me because I don't wear them out or at any other time because I have shallow joints in my knees and they cause a lot of pain) Though on date nights I have been known to throw on a nice pair... or before our alone time..
I guess, through this big rant I am looking for some insight as to how to communicate my needs and wants to him so that he will make a harder effort for me. I have felt for a long time that if I was more fulfilled things would be easier for me to fulfill him.. :frown2:
I hate feeling like a groped empty shell..
thanks for listening,
Whittelily
I am pregnant, I was nursing before I got pregnant, I do realize that my sexual desires are not as high as they could be because of this. I REALLY do work on being open to sex in general and on average we have sex about 3 times per week, and about once per week he gets 'feet sex' (which counts for me..) He has told me that when I am pregnant he gets REALLY needy, which probably explains a little of everything.. but I was feeling this way to a degree before the pregnancy and I want help finding the balance so that we can both be satisified.
A few weeks ago he made out this chart about how I 'get my way' more often than he does. Basically, every day that we do not have sex of any sort that counts towards what I want, and every time we have sex in a position of my choosing that counts towards what I want because it doesnt fulfill his needs nad every time we have 'feet sex'... it counts towards his wants. Except that I am not always left satisfied after sex even if it was in a position of my choosing... So, I am sure you can see where that was going...
I have read where other women are excited to have a man who likes feet because they can have pedicures and buy all the shoes they want ect.. and that is just not something that has happened. I take care of my feet (to the best that my growing belly allows) and I have never otherwise been a huge shoe person, a few high heels (which he bought with me because I don't wear them out or at any other time because I have shallow joints in my knees and they cause a lot of pain) Though on date nights I have been known to throw on a nice pair... or before our alone time..
I guess, through this big rant I am looking for some insight as to how to communicate my needs and wants to him so that he will make a harder effort for me. I have felt for a long time that if I was more fulfilled things would be easier for me to fulfill him.. :frown2:
I hate feeling like a groped empty shell..
thanks for listening,
Whittelily
Put the internet to work for you.
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