I'm sorry if this is jumbled, I'm just extremely frustrated right now and I'm hoping that venting will provide some catharses.
My wife and I are on vacation without the kids - a time to which i have looked forward for several weeks. We spent the first few days at home relaxing and now we are out of town for a few days. All day long on our drive, we have been talking, flirting occasionally, and enjoying our time together. Once we got to the hotel, i began getting more flirtatious, both physically and verbally. She seems to be enjoying it, and at one point even agrees that she wants to be intimate. Fast forward a bit, we have rested, showered, and I'm in the bed completely naked, running her, kissing her body, completely erect, and she gives me zero reaction. Zero. Even when I kids her in the one place she is ticklish. *sigh*
After a while I simply withdraw. She gives me a look that (to me) communicates that she knows my intention, and knows that I am upset. Kind of a "what's the matter even though I already know" look.
Now it's 1:15 AM and i am unable to sleep, completely frustrated.
I am so tired of being the higher drive in this marriage. I had a vasectomy a month ago, and prior to that I had no interest in sex for two months. So we had no sex for two months, big surprise. At one point she expressed frustration that I wasn't interested in sex, blaming it on my antidepressants. I hadn't been taking those for a good long while, but hey, it couldn't possibly be anything SHE was doing (or not doing). Afterwards, when I was ready to resume sexual activity, I tried to initiate and of course was shot down. Given that it was medically necessary, I had to do it myself the next day - after not having masturbated for two years prior. When I told her, she said she wanted to be the one to do that for me.
It's funny, when we were packing for our trip, I had music on and we were dancing and singing as we packed, and she kept coming out of the closet modeling shoes and sexy underwear, and I had no problem telling her how much I loved them. Later when i organized the suitcase, I noticed that none of the things she modeled were present. I asked her if she planned to bring any of her sexy underwear and her response was (tongue in cheek) "no, I'm already sexy, I don't need those things." While true, I don't think it's such a bad idea to show at least a little effort in getting your husband in the mood, is it? I made it a point to later ask her if she really wasn't going to bring anything sexy, making sure to tell her how much I loved the things she tried on, and her response was exactly the same. All I could say was "wow" and go about my business.
When I think about our sex life I am so saddened and I feel like it's never going to be any different. When I confront her about it, she is either dismissive or somehow turns it around and blames me for it. I feel like crying right now and I feel like she doesn't care at all.
When I do get up the nerve to initiate, most of the time her initial response is to resist; if I am gently hugging her and kissing her, she always seems to have an excuse (e.g. not in the mood, tired, etc.) If I am more brazen and attempt to "take" her (which she admits to liking) her immediate response is to push on my shoulders with some excuse to go along with it.
I tried that tonight, she had just come out of the shower and I went to go down on her - she immediately pushed away saying that she might not be clean. (She peed after getting out of the shower.) I didn't care. I do appreciate her wanting to be completely clean all the time, but the same time I love her smell and don't mind if she isn't. I understand that she may not feel sexy if she doesn't feel clean. It's just that all this constant push-back just kills my nerve.
Nearly every time we are intimate, I give her oral. She likes it, I like doing it, and I enjoy making her happy. On the other hand, I can count on one hand how many times she does it for me in a year's time, and still have fingers left over. And I'm not even talking about going to completion; it is almost never part of our foreplay. She claims to enjoy doing it and likes to please me, yet somehow it never seems to happen. Go figure.
TL;DR: my wife is so sexy, but who wants to always look and never touch?
My wife and I are on vacation without the kids - a time to which i have looked forward for several weeks. We spent the first few days at home relaxing and now we are out of town for a few days. All day long on our drive, we have been talking, flirting occasionally, and enjoying our time together. Once we got to the hotel, i began getting more flirtatious, both physically and verbally. She seems to be enjoying it, and at one point even agrees that she wants to be intimate. Fast forward a bit, we have rested, showered, and I'm in the bed completely naked, running her, kissing her body, completely erect, and she gives me zero reaction. Zero. Even when I kids her in the one place she is ticklish. *sigh*
After a while I simply withdraw. She gives me a look that (to me) communicates that she knows my intention, and knows that I am upset. Kind of a "what's the matter even though I already know" look.
Now it's 1:15 AM and i am unable to sleep, completely frustrated.
I am so tired of being the higher drive in this marriage. I had a vasectomy a month ago, and prior to that I had no interest in sex for two months. So we had no sex for two months, big surprise. At one point she expressed frustration that I wasn't interested in sex, blaming it on my antidepressants. I hadn't been taking those for a good long while, but hey, it couldn't possibly be anything SHE was doing (or not doing). Afterwards, when I was ready to resume sexual activity, I tried to initiate and of course was shot down. Given that it was medically necessary, I had to do it myself the next day - after not having masturbated for two years prior. When I told her, she said she wanted to be the one to do that for me.
It's funny, when we were packing for our trip, I had music on and we were dancing and singing as we packed, and she kept coming out of the closet modeling shoes and sexy underwear, and I had no problem telling her how much I loved them. Later when i organized the suitcase, I noticed that none of the things she modeled were present. I asked her if she planned to bring any of her sexy underwear and her response was (tongue in cheek) "no, I'm already sexy, I don't need those things." While true, I don't think it's such a bad idea to show at least a little effort in getting your husband in the mood, is it? I made it a point to later ask her if she really wasn't going to bring anything sexy, making sure to tell her how much I loved the things she tried on, and her response was exactly the same. All I could say was "wow" and go about my business.
When I think about our sex life I am so saddened and I feel like it's never going to be any different. When I confront her about it, she is either dismissive or somehow turns it around and blames me for it. I feel like crying right now and I feel like she doesn't care at all.
When I do get up the nerve to initiate, most of the time her initial response is to resist; if I am gently hugging her and kissing her, she always seems to have an excuse (e.g. not in the mood, tired, etc.) If I am more brazen and attempt to "take" her (which she admits to liking) her immediate response is to push on my shoulders with some excuse to go along with it.
I tried that tonight, she had just come out of the shower and I went to go down on her - she immediately pushed away saying that she might not be clean. (She peed after getting out of the shower.) I didn't care. I do appreciate her wanting to be completely clean all the time, but the same time I love her smell and don't mind if she isn't. I understand that she may not feel sexy if she doesn't feel clean. It's just that all this constant push-back just kills my nerve.
Nearly every time we are intimate, I give her oral. She likes it, I like doing it, and I enjoy making her happy. On the other hand, I can count on one hand how many times she does it for me in a year's time, and still have fingers left over. And I'm not even talking about going to completion; it is almost never part of our foreplay. She claims to enjoy doing it and likes to please me, yet somehow it never seems to happen. Go figure.
TL;DR: my wife is so sexy, but who wants to always look and never touch?
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