17 Years wife cheated and I'm lost.....

Found out 2 weeks ago that my wife of 17 years (3 kids) had been cheating on me for a month. She created an online single's profile that stated she was divorced. I won't get into the details on how I found out, but it involved snooping and digging in her phone etc. A week prior to me finding out she asked for a separation. After I found out she cheated I kicked her out. After a few days, I felt bad and told her to come back home with no stipulations and we would live together but remain "separated." Tuesday she left the house and went to go see her OM. I couldn't take it and ended up calling him. Telling him I just am trying to save my marriage, etc. The guy said he would back off. When my wife found out she decided to leave again, and based on her phone logs, they are still meeting and talking. Since Thursday I have stopped looking at her phone, tracking her whereabouts etc. I'm trying to detach. On top of all of this, I just found out today that I might have Prostate Cancer. I got tested because my father had, 2 of my uncles had it and now my older brother just got diagnosed with it. I'm trying to remain positive, but all of this stuff is happening to me at once. Wife leaves me, the Dr. Finds a nodule on my prostate and my PSA levels are elevated which points to Prostate Cancer. I haven't told the wife about the recent test results though she knows that i was getting tested. I don't want her sympathy and I don't want her to think I'm using it as a tactic to manipulate her. I'm losing sleep, not eating and just all around depressed. Trying to get out of this funk, but its so hard to do. The kids are with me and she gets to live her single life style staying with one of her girlfriends, while I try to pick up the pieces of my life and move on. Been reading about this 180 process but I'm having trouble detaching. I don't want to manipulate her at all...I just want to find me and become a better person, but its hard to get the thoughts of her and him out of my mind. Its consuming me.

Any advice or help would be appreciated.

Put the internet to work for you.

Delete or edit this Recipe