First time poster. We have been married for 25 years. He was a virgin, I was not. We've had 2 'bumps' in the road, but this last bump seems overwhelming. I had breast cancer 16 years ago, had to be surgically slammed into menopause, and I can not take any natural or synthetic hormones do to the cancer being estrogen positive. Sex has gone from 100mp to zero. We've had sex maybe 10 times in the last 8 years. He says he's ok with it, that he's more worried about my health as I am high risk for reaccurance.
He's also an extrovert, I'm an introvert. He doesn't seem to understand that I don't want to be 'on' all the time. I work retail which means that I have to be 'on' at work, and when I'm home I need to decompress. He works in a factory and wants to go out and socialize.
At one point, the socialization became a problem, as he was having an inappropriate relationship with a married woman. Nothing sexual, but just behaving badly. I called him on it, and he said he'd stop. He tries to force me to be friends with other women, forcing them down my throat "hey, lets hang out with so and so and you guys can connect'. Uh, no.
The sex thing is the worst part of my life right now. I have zero libido, I'm tired of the "you have to have sex in order to want sex" ideology that my doctor has recommended. Hard to have sex when you don't want it at all, or 'can't drive a car if it has no engine, you can pretend, but you're going nowhere'.
Our work schedules are so different and it's hard to change that. Not working on weekends in retail is almost unheard of...he has the weekends off. I close most of the time, so there's that problem as well. I can't afford to quit and stay home. He's not into my hobby at all, doesn't care about it, never has, has resented it in the past. My hobby is riding horses (I don't own one at this time, but still ride), his hobby is microbreweries and visiting different pubs. That became a problem recently as he got almost fall down drunk and the whole vomiting afterwords. I told him, "you're 56, not 26, ". I'm so tired of the whole thing.. we are just living. We are talking about counseling, but scheduling is a problem as he works graveyard shift.
Pretty much at the end of everything
He's also an extrovert, I'm an introvert. He doesn't seem to understand that I don't want to be 'on' all the time. I work retail which means that I have to be 'on' at work, and when I'm home I need to decompress. He works in a factory and wants to go out and socialize.
At one point, the socialization became a problem, as he was having an inappropriate relationship with a married woman. Nothing sexual, but just behaving badly. I called him on it, and he said he'd stop. He tries to force me to be friends with other women, forcing them down my throat "hey, lets hang out with so and so and you guys can connect'. Uh, no.
The sex thing is the worst part of my life right now. I have zero libido, I'm tired of the "you have to have sex in order to want sex" ideology that my doctor has recommended. Hard to have sex when you don't want it at all, or 'can't drive a car if it has no engine, you can pretend, but you're going nowhere'.
Our work schedules are so different and it's hard to change that. Not working on weekends in retail is almost unheard of...he has the weekends off. I close most of the time, so there's that problem as well. I can't afford to quit and stay home. He's not into my hobby at all, doesn't care about it, never has, has resented it in the past. My hobby is riding horses (I don't own one at this time, but still ride), his hobby is microbreweries and visiting different pubs. That became a problem recently as he got almost fall down drunk and the whole vomiting afterwords. I told him, "you're 56, not 26, ". I'm so tired of the whole thing.. we are just living. We are talking about counseling, but scheduling is a problem as he works graveyard shift.
Pretty much at the end of everything
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