wife doesn't want to participate in marriage.

Need some advice to ensure I'm doing all that I can do to fix our marriage. We have a 2 year old son and our relationship has been in a terrible. There is no romance, communication is horrible, and there is no participation or partnership. My wife loves to cook and clean but does so at a snails pace so a dinner for 3 could put her in the kitchen for 2 hours or more. Outside of cleaning the house or cooking, she does nothing. I feel bad as she doesn't ever sit down and watch tv or read a book. She has no hobbies and never relaxes. Even quit listening to music. I've offered to help cook or clean but she is so demanding that it must be done her way that I gave up. When it comes to other responsibilities, she has very little and feels she should have none. I pay the mortgage, utilities, buy 100% of household goods. Do 100% of maintenance, yardwork, decorating etc.... She doesn't want to help do anything outside of cooking and cleaning. She does put some money in my account each month to contribute toward mortgage and buys most of the groceries each month. I use her contribution to home improvements, furniture, and repairs. I make about 40% more income than here and she feels that she shouldn't have to contribute any money as I am the 'man' and it's the man's responsibility to pay everything. She constantly references other couples she knows that the wife doesn't help. (this is new by the way, wasn't her view when I met her 10 years ago) Holidays. She has no time for them; doesn't even buy our son a gift. I have to do it all or it doesn't happen. Vacations. same 100% on me or it doesn't happen. Zero date nights. We've been out 3 times since our son was born. Sex is almost non existent. We barely talk as she can't remember anything or have to explain everything in great detail. For example, I've been in my job for 15 years with the same people and I could reference someone and she asks 'who is that?' It's exhausting. (again wasn't this way before). I've tried to talk to her countless times. Offered a joint account and put our money together so there wouldn't be any money concerns but she doesnt want to. I've asked for her help with projects we could do together, but she doesn't participate. I've attempted to help her with cooking/cleaning but she complains it isn't good enough. She now hires someone 2x a month to come in and help her clean the house (1 level 2500 sq ft / 3bd 2 bath). I honestly don't know what to do. If we didn't have our child, I would 100% leave as this is no way for anyone to live. I do have a strong opinion about divorce with kids as most moms get custody and I'm concerned about lack of parenting if she won custody and she is from another country so concerned she would take him and leave the U.S. It's like dealing with someone that is overworked, overwhelmed and unwilling to make changes to improve. We barely argue but it's just a lonely situation. She works most weekends and I travel some during the week for work so I feel alone and have lost hope on how to improve the situation. Any advice would be appreciated. I feel defeated and don't know what to do.

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