Broke up with my boyfriend yesterday and I just want him back.

So my bf and I met at school 1.5 years ago. Our relationship was amazing from the beginning; the first time a guy truly made me feel special all the time. After a few months of being together very often, we had to do long distance because I started graduate school. We made it work. We spent the weekend together at least every 2-3 weeks. We made it last all the way till summer break. I was so happy and excited to have 2 months to spend time with him but 1 month into summer and we broke up. This is my last summer break and I just wanted it to be memorable. I wanted to be happy with the man I love. The problems began in June. I found some inappropriate things on his phone when I was trying to send a photo to myself. It was the first time I felt negativity towards him and distrust. After that incident, he begged for my forgiveness. He swore he never cheated and I decided to believe him. He told me I am the best thing that ever happened in his life and I knew the same was true about him. I forgave him too quickly. See we had a vacation planned 2 weeks later and I needed it to be amazing. And it was. But since then, he started being less attentive. He texted less, called less, said sweet things less, barely ever said he loved me. I feel like this disconnect began one day when his friends wanted to have a guys night and he wasn't able to go because I was over his house for the night and it would mean sending me home. He really wanted to hang out with them but ended up staying with me because I had no other plans that Saturday night since I thought I was invited. Tension grew between us. And even though vacation was great, I feel like this incident and that time together separate from his friends and the life he is used to pushed him away from me. I became resentful and I told him how insecure his distance was making me feel. He was reassuring. But he continued to act distant and cold for the next 2 weeks. The other night I texted him to say I love you, and he didn't say it back. That was it. I told him we need to talk and we met up. We spoke for over an hour and he told me his feelings for me weren't the same as in the beginning of our relationship. He isn't sure he is ready for the type of commitment this relationship is heading to being just over a year. He said he is too immature. We decided we both needed space and after trying to figure out what that meant; we decided it just meant we should break up. He then told me a story of how his parents broke up and got back together; I'm not sure what kind of message he was trying to send. But, I don't want to get my hopes up. I love him so much and I want him in my life. He is everything I wanted in a man; if he could only be the way he used to be. I haven't contacted him since we spoke but it's hard; I am not sure how much time to give it because I fear he is too stubborn to contact me first. When we said goodbye we both cried; we hugged and kissed; and the hardest thing ever was not turning back when I walked away. Someone please help me. I am surroundi ng myself with friends, movies, books, but I still feel so alone because I lost my best friend. Thank you for reading.

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