Sexless Marriage due to Medical problem - how to cope?

How does one cope with being married to a women they love deeply, but is unable to have sex due to a serious chronic injury? Some background: Been together for 14 years. She was injured on the job 12 years ago, due to complications went from being hurt to being permanently disabled. We have no kids. She is unable to work, and receives a disability pension that took us 8 years of fighting to get and is not enough for her to live on. I make enough for us to live comfortably and without need, however it requires I work 2 jobs (one is home-based, total I work about 50hrs per week) She is unable to perform daily chores, cannot drive and cannot grocery shop. I have to do all the cooking cleaning and home maintenance. We had a healthy and fun sexlife for the first 6 months of being together, then it dwindled down to once every 6 weeks, now down to nothing. This has been a long struggle for me, and up until May of this year she would not want to talk about it, and finally I had enough, broke down and let it all out. She explained that not only did she not have sexual feelings for me (or anyone else) but now that the pain in her life is so intense and all encompassing she doesn't even want to think about sex. We attempted to try new positions to reduce the discomfort, and I thought we had made progress, but unless I initiate she is not interested. She would rather not have sex as it causes too much pain (not the penetration, but the body movement). In order for us to have sex with minimal pain for her requires I do not move, cannot be on the bed with her. As well she refuses oral sex both giving and receiving - despite my willingness to perform. I am overcome with feelings that are not shared by my spouse. I find myself constantly looking at other women, and even went so far as creating a Craigslist add...thankfully there is only scammers on there or I may have done something I cannot take back. I don't want to leave my wife, and she would be devastated if I was to have an affair. Thanks for listening!

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