| I've been talking to a younger guy since January, I am 21 and he is 19.. we have been family friends for years and when they come to my hometown they always stay with us. So I know him very well. He got in contact with me last Christmas and we began a really flirty communication with each other.. it progressed a little too quickly in the physical sense when he came to see me in February, we made out very intensely on the couch while everyone was asleep! Two nights in a row. It was amazing and we talked about it a lot. After the weekend it was really hard to see him go, because not only was it awkward to have no idea where we were in terms of commitment, but we weren't quite ready to dive into making out and we both knew it. We freely talked about it and decided to take it slow and try to pace ourselves. He told me he has a lot of schooling to get through so it would be a long time to wait for anything serious (in terms of marriage). As the months went on into march, slowly we started getting bored with texting long distance and a little agitated with each other, he was busy with a part time job and full time schooling...and I was mostly free in the evenings after work and ready to chat. Eventually things came to a head.. i confronted him about why our conversations were so dead and why he didn't want to try skyping. It was unreasonable of me. It was a pretty heated conversation which ended up with me crying afterward and him saying that he didn't know what he wanted and that he wasn't sur e if he liked me yet. I felt crushed.. and i knew it was because I was taking things too seriously before i really got to know him. Overnight I decided to cut off communication, so in the morning i noticed he sent me a message and i ignored it. Eventually.. i responded to it after calming myself down, and ever so slowly, our texting habits picked up again... He came to visit with some friends in May and we had a really good, fun time, he was chatty, he flirted, we didn't get physical and when he left he said "Wow, things were so good with you this trip, a lot less stressful don't you think?" and i was surprised at that. He spontaneously gave me a cute little chain to hang on my keys before he left. After he went home, i still kept my guard up in conversation, but surprisingly, he said one night "Do you wanna have a quick skype?" and I agreed. It was a really good chat!.. it was exciting and clean and we laughed a lot. This continued all through may and june, conversations with him were funny, but near the end of june we got a little too sexual and started talking dirty. The first time it happened it was fine, but the second time gave me a nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach because i've been in sexting situations with guys before and it doesn't do much good. We kept telling each other that we needed to be careful and he asked me when i was planning on coming down to see him. This made my heart skip a beat to know he wanted to spend time with me and it only seemed fair as he had come to my hometown twice. So i told him I would look into flights. In the middle of July I booked a flight and told him. He said he was excited to be seeing me and "see where things go bet ween us". We made lots of plans, he is going to take me mudding, we are going to take a little boat out and go fishing, hot tubbing and camping. Trouble is, its less than a week until I leave... and i've been getting mixed signals from him that is making me extremely stressed out. Two weeks ago he started to get distant, he told me that the constant texting just gets to him sometimes and he's a little lazy about responding..which we had talked about before as long distance communicating is hard. I asked him twice if he wanted to skype but he wasnt available, the third time i mentioned it he said he was free for a short skype and it seemed awkward when he came online, we didnt have much to talk about, but eventually he said "whats on your mind?" and i told him that i felt like our last Skype was too physical and not emotional enough. He agreed and said "yes, i felt that way too, thats why i'm glad you are coming down next week so we can figure out where we are at" and i said yea, totally i agree.. but then he threw in an unexpected curveball by saying "I think this will decide whether we want to continue with this, or maybe consider the "just friends" route". He then went into how we would always be friends because his sister is my best friend and so forth, and how he gets confused because we have loads to talk about sometimes and other times we don't. He finished off by saying we would have a good time no matter what happens. AND he mentioned that he was planning on coming up again to my hometown to hang out with me and all our friends the week after i leave. At that moment i wasn't really processing what he was saying, so i just agreed with his points and chatted about other things and told him how i felt and how i didnt want him to feel any pressure about relationships in the way we communicate, i also said we should stop texting for this week since he was going away with his family for a few days and that i'd see him on Tuesday when i arrive and we'd have fun... Then a little later into talking more he got horny and so did I, and we sexted eachother for a while and said goodnight and wished eachother a good week around 1am. When i woke up in the morning, overtired and grumpy, i felt a wave of dread wash over me. Because i suddenly started to realize his words indicated he was pulling away, and now im starting to fear that when i arrive he is planning on letting me down gently by ending our communication. I felt stupid after having been so inappropriate with him and started to get anxious that he is using me and not interested in getting to know me anymore. I don't know what to do. :( I've come to accept he is very immature, and i completely agree with his position that he is NOT ready for a serious relationship. He is super laid back, fun, logical, smart and good looking.. i am really attracted to him. I want to protect the potential here.. i just dont know how to go about doing this? I really want to be a close friend to him, but im scared that the way we got too physical too fast may have ruined it and he might not want anything more with me..including that Can I salvage things so we can still work towards being good friends? or am i over reacting? Help! I am so anxious about this and i leave in a week! | |||
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