Holding on by a thread

I have been going out officially with my girlfriend now for over a year and a half, we'd been seeing each other exclusively for about 6 months before then. Every time i'm with her I feel as though it's the definition of happiness and I love her so much. We've spent some amazing times together, even going Paris last month despite neither of us having any real money to speak of. However, things this last month have been slow and hard. I blame this solely on myself. She has been busy trying to sort out a masters course for herself, as well as signing up for two volunteering courses with the Police. However, I haven't been occupying myself with nearly as much and due to a back injury had found myself bed bound for a couple of weeks. During that time I became far too intense and required her to text back every five minutes when in reality it just wasn't possible. But I was just so desperate to speak to her all the time, like we used to, I just wasn't used to not being able to as often I guess. Things took a horrible turn last week, when I caught her smoking, an activity I am strongly against and one she promised never to do. We'd both been drinking and I got angry and shouted at her. She shouted back saying I couldn't tell her what to do, I was so drunk and angry, I punched a wall and broken several bones in my hand. I have never been an aggressive pers on at all, and this was completely out of character. However, the next day we were hugging and talking to each other whilst being a little worse for wear but she told me it was fine and we were gonna be okay. The day after that both our families went to dinner together and everything seemed really good, we hugged tightly and kissed each other when it was time to leave. However, this Wednesday just gone she rang me up to tell me she felt differently and didn't even want a relationship anymore. I begged and begged to her, apologising profusely for this last month and week in particular, but she insisted i'd done nothing wrong and that it was her. I know she still loves me and is just saying that to protect my feelings. This time last week, we were smiling and happy together, I don't know how it could have gotten this bad since then. I got desperate as I felt I deserved better than a ten minute phone conversation which she said she had to go and just left. I rang her literally hundreds of times and even booked a coach ticket to see her that day, but her dad convinced me not to and to leave it be for a bit. I did. The next day she rang but her stance hadn't changed and she said she still felt the same as the day before. She then said she would come and see me but only with her mother present, I agreed, but I asked her to keep an open mind about it and to not have made a decision before then. She is coming this Monday (today being Saturday). This has made me realise how much I value her company and love and am desperate to sort everything out and just be happy with her again. Since Wednesday, I haven't slept and I haven't eaten at all. I psychically can't. I love her so much and need her to be in my life. For Monday, I suggested to her that we go for a walk and a picnic, she didn't get back to me. I have been shopping and have bought her all the things she likes; wine, olives you name it, in hope that we just forget about this and try to work on this, but she is adamant that there is nothing to work on. I cannot lose her, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. How can I convince her to stay? How can I avoid losing my best friend and my soul mate? Please help. I am desperate to make this work.

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