It's Complicated, but please help!

I am 53, and was born in India. My wife is 48, also from India. We have been married for 19 years, We have a daughter who is 17. I work in the IT industry, and my wife is a home maker. We have had a very rocky relationship, but have stayed married like many do. Ours was an arranged marriage, and we knew each other only for a few weeks before we got married. We are both very different, in our tastes, though we share common qualities like compassion, charity, and kindness. We are from different backgrounds, but we have made adjustments, learned to like each other's tastes, and find a common thread in them. Fundamentally we have had a big disagreement about where to live. I came to Canada 13 years back, in search of a better life, and moved to the US 3 years back. All these years, my wife had constantly accused me of "not caring about her feelings", or "being insensitive", because I want to live here. She on other hand, wants to go back to India, where I see no future for me. To make matters worse, her mother (my mother in law) who is 75, had been giving her guilt trips about "neglecting her at her age". She has accused me of " taking her daughter away " to the west against her wishes - which is absolutely untrue. Coming back to this disagreement about where to live, I have time and again told my wife to go back and live with her mother. She won't do this, but constantly gripes, complains and picks up a fight with me over this, frequently. My daughter who is 17 has been a witness to this disagreement (we have not had an argument in her presence, but she knows because my wife has constantly complained to her about this issue). My daughter has been tortured between living here and going back to India. Every time she talks about going to college and staying back, her mother gives her the guilt trip - the same thing that her mother does to her. The problem is this. My wife won't go back to India, neither will reconcile to the idea of living here. She is in constant touch with her mom who reminds her about "what a bad husband I am for separating her from mother. Life is more of less a living hell, except for a few spells of normalcy. This has affected my ability to lead a loving, caring, normal life. I feel sorry for my daughter who is caught up in all of this. There are times I have felt that it is hopeless and my death would be my liberation from all these troubles We haven't had sex for over 15 months - partially because she is nearing menopause and has no interest in sex, and also because she is constantly upset about "what I have done to her". In the past (about 5-7 years ago), my wife talked about divorce, but won't talk about it anymore I know I have rambled on - so please forgive me. I thought I would share my misery with you, and see if you see a solution that I don't. Thank you so much for your time, and your advice

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979