How can I help my BS with his triggers surrounding our intimacy?

Hello, I've been reading here for nearly a year, off and on. This is my first post though. I've got a question for all of you, preferably those that feel they are making progress in recovery. Our story isn't so much what matters right here right now, but just so you know I am the WW. We have two small children and nearly 7 years behind us. I was selfish, immature, illogical and downright a horrible partner when I deceived my spouse. My affair was emotional, physical and frequent, and lasted less than a month. We are nearly one year into recovery. In the beginning we went through what we all call hysterical bonding. We couldn't get enough of each other, we had sex multiple times a day at least once a day. We were desperate for each other. As if we could finally see each other again. Our wall was knocked down and we tried new things, gave to each other, played etc. We still do, frequently. Since D Day my BS has been challenged with the images that come during sex. Sometimes they are worse than other times, occasionally its a clear mind experience. When this happens its very emotional, we both feel it and try to hold tight to it. We've tried "new things" to try to create a memories that can out bid the negative ones. My specific question is, do you have any tips that have worked for you? How have you battled triggers during sex? Wayward spouses, please share what you have tried. Betrayed spouses, what has helped you come back to the now? How have you found the way to being able to look each other in the eyes and feel the love that you are together for? Ditch the criticism. I'm an ex-wayward spouse, and we've been through a lot in the last year. I am honoured and lucky and blessed and thankful to still have the love of my man. He has shown me his strength. And I will show him mine. Please share. Thanks!

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