| This is my first post ever on here, so I'm not too sure on how to work this thing or how to even go about writing a proper first post. I guess the reason why I even found this site, is because I need advice on my relationship. These days, online relationships have become more and more common. With saying that, I'm currently in an online relationship with someone who lives over 2,000 miles away from me yet they still are the one for me. It's complicated to explain how we met, so let's just say that we met through friends. We've had an ongoing relationship for almost a year now, so just by that you can tell that it's more than just a crush, obviously. The one thing that would probably stand out to everyone, is that we haven't met yet. We both don't make a lot of money, so it's hard to save up enough for a plane ticket and spending money while at the other's location. We've video chatted, we text many times during the day, and we fall asleep with eac hother at night. Even though we've never met, I'm 100% in love with her. I've been completely honest with her about everything, except for one thing. My weight. For as long as I can remember, my weight has been my biggest issue and my biggest insecurity. Just to add this as a side note, I'm a girl. I don't know how people react to "gay" relationships on here, but just to make it clear, I'm a girl.. and so is the person who I'm referring to being in a relationship with. Anyways, we've sent pictures, we've done all of that. The only thing I've never done, is send her a picture of my full body. I'm not comfortable with myself, at all. I work hard everyday to lose the weight I need to because I want to be a better, healthier me. She asked me a few days ago why I've never shown her my whole body, and of course I changed the subject as quick as I could. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified that once she sees who I really am, she'll be disgusted with me just like how I am with my self. I love this girl more than anything, and she's said the same back to me. I've mentioned it a few times to her that there are a few things I don't like about myself, and she's told me she loves me no matter what. The only reason why I'm terrified, is because I've heard her make fun of over weight people before. She's attracted to skinny, beautiful girls. I don't think I'm ugly, but I know my body is hideous. I just don't know what to do. Part of me feels like I should just break it off because it would be easier to leave her than to explain to the person who I'm completely in love with that I'm over weight and I hate myself for it every single day. I know that if she loves me, she should accept me. I know that a few people are going to say that. I just don't know how to tell her and honestly if she did leave me because of my weight, that would crush me completely. In my eyes, either way I'm just torn. I want to meet her so badly because she's the person that I want to b e with. I want nothing more than to be able to spend time with her in person and be able to be happy and actually have a physical relationship with her. I'm just terrified that she'll be just as disgusted with me as I am with myself. I need some kind of advice, so please help me. |
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