I'll try to keep this short as this is a 13 years saga in the making and to cover it all would be like reading War and Peace. Our problems are the same as everyone else's just with a twist. The twist doesn't matter, the long and short of is I want to leave my wife but there are 2 things stopping me:
1. Two children
2. Money
Whether through divorce or just a separation doesn't really matter to me as I'm never getting remarried, twice is enough and I don't see the third time being a charm. I'm afraid of what it will do to our children, they are both very sensitive and one has anxiety problems. I already know that if children were not in the picture I would have left her, that's basically my litmus test.
I don't make enough money to support the family as it is and my wife does not work. You're probably asking why? She has all sorts of medical problems that keep her from being able to work productively. She has suffered from migraines for years, stomach trouble, neuropathy, terrible periods, possible thyroid problems, and oh yeah, SPAD-Smart phone addiction disorder. (Specifically social networking) There is no way I could support the family bills and pay my own rent and utilities, not even with roommates. So what's a husband to do? Do I just climb up on a cross and nail myself to it in sacrifice for our children and what is left of our family. She won't do counseling, so that answers that question. (that's another long story going back to her childhood PTSD)
If you are an abused wife there are places to go, if you are an abused husband you are screwed. No not physically abused although I am sexually deprived, I mean emotionally abused as in neglected and taken for granted for all I do for her. I'm the Chef, the Maid, the Butler, the Gardner, the Mechanic, the Therapist, the errand boy, the Veterinarian (3 cats 2 dogs), the Accountant…basically her all around *****. Don't get me wrong, she takes the kids to school and picks them up 90% of the time, she cooks, cleans and does chores on occasion or when I nag enough, and she mowed the yard once at our old house. So I figure the scale is tipped about 80/20. I feel like I'm wasting my life on someone who doesn't really care about me nor appreciate me and missing out on someone who will. She's absorbed in her own problems, her life is miserable so she watches The Steve Likos show and similar shows every day to feel better about her life.
So I'm the A**hole husband because I'm not sensitive to her needs and I don't give her the emotional support she requires, I wonder why? If I leave her I'll look like the bad husband because I'm leaving her sick and broke with two kids and all the pets, what a jerk am I? This is only the tip of the iceberg people, I'm not saying that I'm not without fault, I'm an enabler obviously who can be passive aggressive as anybody else. The measure a person is not in apologizing for doing wrong, rather what they do to make it right…I think I've done all I can, what do I do now?
~SNAFUBAR:(
1. Two children
2. Money
Whether through divorce or just a separation doesn't really matter to me as I'm never getting remarried, twice is enough and I don't see the third time being a charm. I'm afraid of what it will do to our children, they are both very sensitive and one has anxiety problems. I already know that if children were not in the picture I would have left her, that's basically my litmus test.
I don't make enough money to support the family as it is and my wife does not work. You're probably asking why? She has all sorts of medical problems that keep her from being able to work productively. She has suffered from migraines for years, stomach trouble, neuropathy, terrible periods, possible thyroid problems, and oh yeah, SPAD-Smart phone addiction disorder. (Specifically social networking) There is no way I could support the family bills and pay my own rent and utilities, not even with roommates. So what's a husband to do? Do I just climb up on a cross and nail myself to it in sacrifice for our children and what is left of our family. She won't do counseling, so that answers that question. (that's another long story going back to her childhood PTSD)
If you are an abused wife there are places to go, if you are an abused husband you are screwed. No not physically abused although I am sexually deprived, I mean emotionally abused as in neglected and taken for granted for all I do for her. I'm the Chef, the Maid, the Butler, the Gardner, the Mechanic, the Therapist, the errand boy, the Veterinarian (3 cats 2 dogs), the Accountant…basically her all around *****. Don't get me wrong, she takes the kids to school and picks them up 90% of the time, she cooks, cleans and does chores on occasion or when I nag enough, and she mowed the yard once at our old house. So I figure the scale is tipped about 80/20. I feel like I'm wasting my life on someone who doesn't really care about me nor appreciate me and missing out on someone who will. She's absorbed in her own problems, her life is miserable so she watches The Steve Likos show and similar shows every day to feel better about her life.
So I'm the A**hole husband because I'm not sensitive to her needs and I don't give her the emotional support she requires, I wonder why? If I leave her I'll look like the bad husband because I'm leaving her sick and broke with two kids and all the pets, what a jerk am I? This is only the tip of the iceberg people, I'm not saying that I'm not without fault, I'm an enabler obviously who can be passive aggressive as anybody else. The measure a person is not in apologizing for doing wrong, rather what they do to make it right…I think I've done all I can, what do I do now?
~SNAFUBAR:(
Put the internet to work for you.
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