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I don't deserve to live because i am depressed

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I read on the internet that negative people who are low should just stay away from people because they just suck the life out of everyone and bring them all down. The people in my old job used to say that i was a negative person and they didn't wanna work with me and it led to me quitting as i was constantly alone when everybody would be paired up.

Funnily enough i run into them twice. Yesterday i saw a guy who deleted me from facebook. He got a new camera and was asking me if i could show him how to use it. On a night out, i saw the same people who said i was negative and a letdown and they were being all friendly to me as if we were long lost friends.

I'm not the kind of guy who mopes around all the day and i always try my best to be cheerful and responsive around people but it's really ****ing hard when you can just see it in everybody's face that you're sucking the life out of them and bringing the mood down.

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