Following the advice of several forum members, I started reading the book No More Mr Nice Guy late last week. I finished it last night. I must say, a lot of it slapped me right upside the head. My wife saw me reading on my phone last night and asked what I was reading. I told her the name of the book and she immediately said "Why? You're not a nice guy". She wasn't being mean. I am a strong personality, and I've never been intimidated by people or let them walk all over me, so she sees me as that type of person. But, in many ways, I have learned that I have "Nice Guy Syndrome".
There are several things I am going to apply from the book and change is coming. I do have 1 question for any of you that have read and applied the book to your life. The question is from chapter 8. So many things in chapter 8 apply to me, and after YEARS and YEARS of struggling with P.E., this chapter really got my attention.
Without going in to all the detail of the chapter and the causes that the author listed, I'm wondering if any of you have recovered from the sexual dysfunction of P.E. after reading the book and applying the techniques given.
I can tell you, without hesitation, that I've had to lie any time my wife has asked me if I masturbate. Of course I masturbate. We only have sex 2-3 times a month. But she believes wholeheartedly that masturbation is a form of sex, and sex with anyone other than her is adultery. We've talked about it, so I'm not making that up. I've told her how silly that is, but it doesn't change what she believes.
The author also talked about being out in the open with everything, and not keeping anything in the dark. So if I have a talk with her openly about masturbation, I know that won't end well and if I tell her that I've done it my whole adult life and will continue to do it, that won't end well either.
I'm in a bit of a bind. I desperately want to fix my P.E. problem, but I know I can't do it the way the author recommends it. With that said, I have asked her openly to help my fix my P.E. by giving me HJ's and working through it with me. She declined wanting to be involved, saying "it's not that big of a deal to me". Even if she's being honest, it's HUGE deal for me.
Any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
There are several things I am going to apply from the book and change is coming. I do have 1 question for any of you that have read and applied the book to your life. The question is from chapter 8. So many things in chapter 8 apply to me, and after YEARS and YEARS of struggling with P.E., this chapter really got my attention.
Without going in to all the detail of the chapter and the causes that the author listed, I'm wondering if any of you have recovered from the sexual dysfunction of P.E. after reading the book and applying the techniques given.
I can tell you, without hesitation, that I've had to lie any time my wife has asked me if I masturbate. Of course I masturbate. We only have sex 2-3 times a month. But she believes wholeheartedly that masturbation is a form of sex, and sex with anyone other than her is adultery. We've talked about it, so I'm not making that up. I've told her how silly that is, but it doesn't change what she believes.
The author also talked about being out in the open with everything, and not keeping anything in the dark. So if I have a talk with her openly about masturbation, I know that won't end well and if I tell her that I've done it my whole adult life and will continue to do it, that won't end well either.
I'm in a bit of a bind. I desperately want to fix my P.E. problem, but I know I can't do it the way the author recommends it. With that said, I have asked her openly to help my fix my P.E. by giving me HJ's and working through it with me. She declined wanting to be involved, saying "it's not that big of a deal to me". Even if she's being honest, it's HUGE deal for me.
Any help you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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