Ladies and gentlemen, please, if I'm being paranoid, insecure, or childish, do not hesitate to let me know. I'll be as thorough as I can be to describe this situation.
My wife and I have been married for almost a year come May. The dating and the engagement were fine, and shortly after we moved in to our new home in August, things quickly began to unravel. She revealed that she cheated one time prior to our marriage (early into the relationship), and of course that pissed me off. I supported her financially as I asked her to refocus her career (which was making her miserable) for a few months, and she ended up getting a part time job in October that would eventually become full time recently. That job has coincided with a complete physical/emotional distance from nearly the day she started. And now her boss is starting to creep me out. Since then:
She's received gifts from him.
He'll text her until late, and he'll start texting early.
She tells me that he compliments her on her appearance all the time.
He's asked her out on dubious dates where we're bound to have commitments, like Valentine's Day.
His long term marriage went into divorce (though he and his wife were perfectly happy at the Christmas party).
He's keeping the divorce a secret from the office, and will go through great lengths to keep it a secret. Of course, my wife is in the know.
His kids quit the company.
My wife will need some information imperative to her task from the kids, who still have the information, and they're extremely rude to her.
Her boss stepped out of the office yesterday for a few hours, and his daughter blows up my wife's phone, and only my wife's phone in regards to her dad's whereabouts like this is 1985 and the dude doesn't have a cell phone or an office phone lmao.
The company prides itself for not doing overtime, yet my wife will work longer hours now.
My wife and I have not had sex in the entire time she's been working at that company. Literally since Day 1.
My wife no longer wears her ring to work.
Now for the sake of being thorough, if you were to hear my wife tell the story, she'd tell you that I've had a bad attitude about her new job since the moment she got hired. Which is true to an extent, but not because she got a job, and I'm against women in the workforce or any of that garbage. The reason I wasn't exactly thrilled was because this was her first job interview from the day she had started applying late in September, and we needed a double income more than we needed her to "keep busy" with a part time job because of our new expenses at the time. I gave her a ride there to motivate her, among with the advice to sit on it no matter what so she could see what else was out there. What does she do? Is offered the 15-hour a week job on the spot, and takes it on the table. Of course I was happy for her, I'm not Debra Downer, but if anything, I was just sort of irked that she didn't consider my advice for a second. This would eventually play into some of her anger later , when after Thanksgiving through the new year, she was working minimal hours, and the holidays required a lot of effort on my behalf.
So anyway, the rodeo is in town right now, and her parents had some extra concert tickets to a show they weren't interested in going to. They have the entire lot actually, and they'll distribute them among kids, friends, and even hairdressers. So to be nice, they gave my wife some tickets for her to give to her boss, who immediately asked her to go with him. She came home needing like she needed a shower because she was so creeped out, and that was on Monday. Yesterday, she just flat out tells me that she's going, but gets pissed off that I'm getting a ride to work from the front desk girl who lives a block away. That resulted in a fight where I had to call AAA to jump my car to avoid my ride, yet she didn't feel like her outing with her boss was out of line.
I don't own my company, but I run the damn thing. She works for an IT company, I work for a massive oil and gas company. Our guys are out in the field for hours on end, lost, hurt, short of supplies, the customer is up our ass, and there is just so much miscommunication between management and the clients that our phones are ringing/texted/emailed 24 hours a day. That's when we're not juggling Homeland Security and D.O.T. in regards to the transport of our products and services. I have my executive assistant, and I wouldn't dare send a text past 8pm, for a number of reasons, but mainly because she's married and there's nothing that is so damn important that I can't relay to her at a more appropriate time like after 5am. My wife isn't an executive assistant, she's really just a hybrid front desk girl that also orders lunch for the guys, and picks up laundry when not filing paperwork and answering phones. I'm not saying that with the intention of sounding rude, but rather to ill ustrate that there's nothing to talk about past 9pm. Not even 8.
After much bickering yesterday, she seemingly finally gave in that it was not right, and that lasted up until the morning when we were getting ready. I knew what was coming up, as soon as she put on her cowboy boots and her ridiculous belt buckle. Sure enough, she'd bring it up again, until i just flat out told her that I wasn't comfortable with the situation. Why? Refer back to the list up there. My wife is the only woman that works for that company. She is beautiful. We've gone through this before when every one of her guy friends that is always single asks her out to be their date for X event (weddings, holiday parties, dancing, rodeo, etc.). I'm not a pimp, if I was in the pretty girl for hire business, I'd have been a career pimp since Day 1, and I wouldn't marry my product. As far as my discomfort with the whole situation, again, refer to the list. There is a chance that I may be wrong, but this would be like that movie Rear Window, where the guy ends up being a night t ime gardener instead of a murderer. All the clues are there, the suspicion is mounting, and it would take a hell of a twist ending here for me to be completely wrong.
I guess the final kicker is that today is my mom's birthday, and over the weekend we had talked about taking her out on the day. Of course she's home, depressed, and asleep already because she didn't go, but even her own in-laws birthday wasn't enough of a deterrent to have her committed to something else tonight. We haven't gone out in some time. Every time I suggest it, it's a damn chore. Her bra is off, and it's just SO MUCH work to put it back on. Ugh. Getting ready. Ugh. Showering? Forget about it. Boss asks you out to the rodeo? Dress and priss to the nines!
Her defense of all of this is that gross, no way, no how, no way Jose. She's 6' tall, and her boss is her dad's age and 5'6". GROSS. Not happening. Her ex before me? Pushing 50, 5'7". Give me a break. Hell, I was asked out to the rodeo by the nice intern we hired not long ago, but she didn't know I was married (I'm usually wearing gloves of some sort). Wife tries to act all liberal by acting like she'd be ok with me going, but there's a difference between being liberal, and not giving a damn. So seriously, with all of that, it almost feels embarrassing to ask if I'm being paranoid or not, but it's worth the shot. Women, what would you do in her situation? Guys, what would you do in my situation? Fundamentally speaking in regards to handling being asked out by your boss/your wife is asked out by her boss, of course. Not "eat a bullet because you haven't been laid since October" lol. Any questions? Feel free to ask.
My wife and I have been married for almost a year come May. The dating and the engagement were fine, and shortly after we moved in to our new home in August, things quickly began to unravel. She revealed that she cheated one time prior to our marriage (early into the relationship), and of course that pissed me off. I supported her financially as I asked her to refocus her career (which was making her miserable) for a few months, and she ended up getting a part time job in October that would eventually become full time recently. That job has coincided with a complete physical/emotional distance from nearly the day she started. And now her boss is starting to creep me out. Since then:
She's received gifts from him.
He'll text her until late, and he'll start texting early.
She tells me that he compliments her on her appearance all the time.
He's asked her out on dubious dates where we're bound to have commitments, like Valentine's Day.
His long term marriage went into divorce (though he and his wife were perfectly happy at the Christmas party).
He's keeping the divorce a secret from the office, and will go through great lengths to keep it a secret. Of course, my wife is in the know.
His kids quit the company.
My wife will need some information imperative to her task from the kids, who still have the information, and they're extremely rude to her.
Her boss stepped out of the office yesterday for a few hours, and his daughter blows up my wife's phone, and only my wife's phone in regards to her dad's whereabouts like this is 1985 and the dude doesn't have a cell phone or an office phone lmao.
The company prides itself for not doing overtime, yet my wife will work longer hours now.
My wife and I have not had sex in the entire time she's been working at that company. Literally since Day 1.
My wife no longer wears her ring to work.
Now for the sake of being thorough, if you were to hear my wife tell the story, she'd tell you that I've had a bad attitude about her new job since the moment she got hired. Which is true to an extent, but not because she got a job, and I'm against women in the workforce or any of that garbage. The reason I wasn't exactly thrilled was because this was her first job interview from the day she had started applying late in September, and we needed a double income more than we needed her to "keep busy" with a part time job because of our new expenses at the time. I gave her a ride there to motivate her, among with the advice to sit on it no matter what so she could see what else was out there. What does she do? Is offered the 15-hour a week job on the spot, and takes it on the table. Of course I was happy for her, I'm not Debra Downer, but if anything, I was just sort of irked that she didn't consider my advice for a second. This would eventually play into some of her anger later , when after Thanksgiving through the new year, she was working minimal hours, and the holidays required a lot of effort on my behalf.
So anyway, the rodeo is in town right now, and her parents had some extra concert tickets to a show they weren't interested in going to. They have the entire lot actually, and they'll distribute them among kids, friends, and even hairdressers. So to be nice, they gave my wife some tickets for her to give to her boss, who immediately asked her to go with him. She came home needing like she needed a shower because she was so creeped out, and that was on Monday. Yesterday, she just flat out tells me that she's going, but gets pissed off that I'm getting a ride to work from the front desk girl who lives a block away. That resulted in a fight where I had to call AAA to jump my car to avoid my ride, yet she didn't feel like her outing with her boss was out of line.
I don't own my company, but I run the damn thing. She works for an IT company, I work for a massive oil and gas company. Our guys are out in the field for hours on end, lost, hurt, short of supplies, the customer is up our ass, and there is just so much miscommunication between management and the clients that our phones are ringing/texted/emailed 24 hours a day. That's when we're not juggling Homeland Security and D.O.T. in regards to the transport of our products and services. I have my executive assistant, and I wouldn't dare send a text past 8pm, for a number of reasons, but mainly because she's married and there's nothing that is so damn important that I can't relay to her at a more appropriate time like after 5am. My wife isn't an executive assistant, she's really just a hybrid front desk girl that also orders lunch for the guys, and picks up laundry when not filing paperwork and answering phones. I'm not saying that with the intention of sounding rude, but rather to ill ustrate that there's nothing to talk about past 9pm. Not even 8.
After much bickering yesterday, she seemingly finally gave in that it was not right, and that lasted up until the morning when we were getting ready. I knew what was coming up, as soon as she put on her cowboy boots and her ridiculous belt buckle. Sure enough, she'd bring it up again, until i just flat out told her that I wasn't comfortable with the situation. Why? Refer back to the list up there. My wife is the only woman that works for that company. She is beautiful. We've gone through this before when every one of her guy friends that is always single asks her out to be their date for X event (weddings, holiday parties, dancing, rodeo, etc.). I'm not a pimp, if I was in the pretty girl for hire business, I'd have been a career pimp since Day 1, and I wouldn't marry my product. As far as my discomfort with the whole situation, again, refer to the list. There is a chance that I may be wrong, but this would be like that movie Rear Window, where the guy ends up being a night t ime gardener instead of a murderer. All the clues are there, the suspicion is mounting, and it would take a hell of a twist ending here for me to be completely wrong.
I guess the final kicker is that today is my mom's birthday, and over the weekend we had talked about taking her out on the day. Of course she's home, depressed, and asleep already because she didn't go, but even her own in-laws birthday wasn't enough of a deterrent to have her committed to something else tonight. We haven't gone out in some time. Every time I suggest it, it's a damn chore. Her bra is off, and it's just SO MUCH work to put it back on. Ugh. Getting ready. Ugh. Showering? Forget about it. Boss asks you out to the rodeo? Dress and priss to the nines!
Her defense of all of this is that gross, no way, no how, no way Jose. She's 6' tall, and her boss is her dad's age and 5'6". GROSS. Not happening. Her ex before me? Pushing 50, 5'7". Give me a break. Hell, I was asked out to the rodeo by the nice intern we hired not long ago, but she didn't know I was married (I'm usually wearing gloves of some sort). Wife tries to act all liberal by acting like she'd be ok with me going, but there's a difference between being liberal, and not giving a damn. So seriously, with all of that, it almost feels embarrassing to ask if I'm being paranoid or not, but it's worth the shot. Women, what would you do in her situation? Guys, what would you do in my situation? Fundamentally speaking in regards to handling being asked out by your boss/your wife is asked out by her boss, of course. Not "eat a bullet because you haven't been laid since October" lol. Any questions? Feel free to ask.
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