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Issues trying to get a divorce

Split with my ex in September last year after 5 years of marriage. We hadn't been happy for a little while, but the final straw was her having an emotional affair with a guy for a year behind my back, which I found out about. We then spent a few months arguing constantly about this guy, the relationship became unbearable and we split.

My solicitor said it could in theory, be classed as adultery, as cheating doesn't have to be physical, but proving it in court would be a nightmare. So i'm opting for unreasonable behaviour.

I spoke to my ex the other day, to inform her I would start proceedings on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. She's told me that she will point blank refuse to sign as she's not admitting to any blame! Said that if anything, it's unreasonable behaviour on my part, for arguing with her so much (about this guy) and making her unhappy as a result!

She said either I take the full blame and pay the full divorce fees to the court, or I wait 2 years.

What do I do? I feel like she always has the upper hand and control and it frustrates me!

We have a 4yr old and a flat together. She can't afford a solicitor or court fees (though shes on good money), that's why I was hoping we could agree and apply to the court direct, without solicitor involved. But at what point do we get the solicitor involved regarding the property?

Also, when I send off the divorce petition, at what point do I make payment?

Sorry for so many questions!!

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