Hello everyone, this post is me asking desperately for help to fix a marriage I broke.
So history is I have been married for less than a year now already and have been with my SO for a year and half. When we met I knew and could feel it in every cell that she was the one and the feeling was mutual. But I ruined it by cheating on her while we were dating with my ex. A decision which ruined everything and things only got worse. She forgave me and wanted to still be together but I was just so self centered and self involved that I have been emotionally cheating on her again and again with multiple other women. I had been in so much denial that things would never get so bad..Now we are living in the same house but separate rooms and hardly are part of eachothers life after 4 D-days, months of her giving me a chance of fixing it and stepping up, and me just being so far in denial and scared that everyday for her is worse than the last.
Currently I am going to two individual therapists (one for DBT) and last night the guilt just hit me, I realized that I and I alone had ruined what was the perfect thing and so desperately want to get her back. She needs to see change and lots of it, she's made ultimatums and boundaries but getting just too tired of it. So I am asking for help, tips, advice, anything.
What are things I can do to help reconcile, step up and fix this monster of a marriage.
Thank you
-M
So history is I have been married for less than a year now already and have been with my SO for a year and half. When we met I knew and could feel it in every cell that she was the one and the feeling was mutual. But I ruined it by cheating on her while we were dating with my ex. A decision which ruined everything and things only got worse. She forgave me and wanted to still be together but I was just so self centered and self involved that I have been emotionally cheating on her again and again with multiple other women. I had been in so much denial that things would never get so bad..Now we are living in the same house but separate rooms and hardly are part of eachothers life after 4 D-days, months of her giving me a chance of fixing it and stepping up, and me just being so far in denial and scared that everyday for her is worse than the last.
Currently I am going to two individual therapists (one for DBT) and last night the guilt just hit me, I realized that I and I alone had ruined what was the perfect thing and so desperately want to get her back. She needs to see change and lots of it, she's made ultimatums and boundaries but getting just too tired of it. So I am asking for help, tips, advice, anything.
What are things I can do to help reconcile, step up and fix this monster of a marriage.
Thank you
-M
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