Coming to Korea was not exactly our choice of job opportunities more like its a permanent position within the federal service. Being a retired service member of 20 years and having an additional 11 years with the federal service - my husband does know his job. However, his boss and the higher ups don't quit see it nor does it appear that they care and it is pure heck in our marriage of almost 37 years. Since we arrived his drinking has almost tripled, anger and frustration soared and I have no idea how I am hanging on. For example, today he did stayed home with me for I have the flu and am unable to walk our 2 four legged rather large furry kids. I really do appreciate it. But as the day wore on, his mood began to change with the reality that he would be going back to work tomorrow morning and seven beers later out of twelve, well, he went to bed and I am on the computer looking for help.
There are times on the weekend if work has been particular bad, and he is angry, he will leave with no note, leave his cell phone at home and will come home around 3 a.m. He stinks of soju which almost makes me gag and I will end of sleeping in the guest room. I have tried to talk with him about the situation the following day but if I push too much, the air gets thick with anger and well, I just give up. He uses alcohol to kill the monsters that he fights with which means he shuts me out or I get the silent treatment for he evening. I literally have to walk on ice most of the time. I encourage him to talk to me about his work, but after a while, it starts to wear on me and I start getting angry. Definitely a no win situation. His work stress and frustration caused me to begin having stress attacks.
I am afraid that his boss and the "higher ups" are attempting fired him. He has no respect for them especially due to some of the ridiculous things that go on within the office. His first commitment is to the Soldiers. I will say that other people see the same problem that my husband does, but no one will do anything.
I am totally lost. If I go to ASAP (Alcohol Substance Abuse Program) or see a chaplain for consultation, everything is recorded and my husband could be put in the "hot seat" which gives his supervisor more ammo to fire him. He knows not to raise a hand to me but the threat is still very real.
I am trying not to complain, whine, but I am on the verge of leaving him which in our marriage vows, I promised that I would stay with him forever. The chemistry that once was there has all but vanished. He won't seek help, he just continues to drown out the monsters.
There are times on the weekend if work has been particular bad, and he is angry, he will leave with no note, leave his cell phone at home and will come home around 3 a.m. He stinks of soju which almost makes me gag and I will end of sleeping in the guest room. I have tried to talk with him about the situation the following day but if I push too much, the air gets thick with anger and well, I just give up. He uses alcohol to kill the monsters that he fights with which means he shuts me out or I get the silent treatment for he evening. I literally have to walk on ice most of the time. I encourage him to talk to me about his work, but after a while, it starts to wear on me and I start getting angry. Definitely a no win situation. His work stress and frustration caused me to begin having stress attacks.
I am afraid that his boss and the "higher ups" are attempting fired him. He has no respect for them especially due to some of the ridiculous things that go on within the office. His first commitment is to the Soldiers. I will say that other people see the same problem that my husband does, but no one will do anything.
I am totally lost. If I go to ASAP (Alcohol Substance Abuse Program) or see a chaplain for consultation, everything is recorded and my husband could be put in the "hot seat" which gives his supervisor more ammo to fire him. He knows not to raise a hand to me but the threat is still very real.
I am trying not to complain, whine, but I am on the verge of leaving him which in our marriage vows, I promised that I would stay with him forever. The chemistry that once was there has all but vanished. He won't seek help, he just continues to drown out the monsters.
Put the internet to work for you.
| |
| Recommended for you |
No comments:
Post a Comment