So whenever there's any talk of abuse be it sexual or any other kind for example recently in the media it's usually involved certain groups like children who have been victims with the abuse often perpetrator by middle aged and older men. Whilst I recognise the groups portrayed as perpetrators and victims aren't the only groups involved in this way but it's made me question what happened to me and how to deal with it. I don't neatly fit into the normal victim nor they perpetrator but it has seriously messed with my head at a time when I was emotionally quite vulnerable.
My grandad passed away and me and my mum traveled to be with my grandma around the time of his funeral. My aunt was staying with us as well. the funeral came and went and I have never had a great relationship with my aunt she's hot and cold and has her own problems. She doesn't know I know but my mum told me she was sexually abused on holiday when she was a child and that might be why she's a bit volatile. She's my mums only sibling and even though they live on different sides of the globe they're close and keep in contact over the phone.
Me and my aunt had a small tiff about her response to a present I gave her and she flew off the handle. I kept out of her way until the next day. I didn't really want to speak to her, so I just stayed in my room. In the late morning she came into the room, my mum and grandma were downstairs in the kitchen. I sat on the end of the bed not speaking and she came up behind me and goes "I'm sorry and I love you."
Then after a short while..."I like it when you look at my boobs and my bum" AHHHHHHH
But I didn't say anything, I just ignored her and waited til she left. I was stressed out by my grandads death and things going on at uni I didn't have much of a backbone. Inside I was..."WHAT THE ****?"
We hadn't seen eachother for years. We were all looking at eachother because we hadn't seen eachother for so long. I was looking at her in general, we all were. None of us had seen eachother for a long while.
She has got some mental health problems for which she occasionally medicates.
But I just feel sick and I worry about her kids now... They 12 and 15.
That's the thing I'm not a kid, I'm a young woman, 22...
I just don't know what to do I can't tell my mum, she definitely won't believe me or she'll think I misunderstood and I'm fairly certain my aunt will deny it. Of course there are much worse kinds of abuse but I dunno it's so.. urgh... she's my aunt...
I speak to her now like nothing happened. I'm doing it for my mums sake, she's always encouraging us to get on. Says she wants to keep her family together.
Thanks for reading.
Thoughts?
Put the internet to work for you.
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