Ok, so here goes....
I'm 40 something and am feeling disrespected in my marriage of 6 years. I want to express this to my wife in an appropriate manner however, every time it's mentioned an argument ensues.
Starting from the beginning, I live quite a distance from my wife and only get home 3-4 times a year. This has been the situation for the past 30 months. Since the beginning of this summer passed, my wife who's 30 something, has been doing renovations on properties we own with the volunteer assistance of a 16 year old neighborhood boy. They'd done extensive renovations together and I'm very appreciative for his assisting my wife in her workload. As I understand it though, as the summer progressed, he was at my house more and more often even when work was not required. My wife has allowed him access to my tools for his own needs, she's allowed him the use of our 4 wheel atvs, she's allowed him the use of our lawn tractor, as well as allowing him to be her driver even though he only has his learners permit; all of this unbeknownst to me. When I found out, I requested she disallow use and asked her why he was always hanging around. She'd informed me that he had nothing better to do and would rather be at our house than at his own as there was nothing to do at his house.
As irritating as the aforementioned is, I sincerely believe that my wife would never have an affair and I believe her sincere in her actions. My irritation comes from my unfortunate knowledge of subliminal messages. i.e. while home in early autumn….
• When interacting with the boy, my wife would "lean in closer" when sitting and talking with him.
• My wife is "playful" while interacting with the boy
• My wife gently plays with her har when they interact
• My wife and daughter participated in putting baby oil on him for tanning
• While we (my wife, the boy, and I) were driving together, me driving, the boy tells my wife what to put on the radio and when to turn it up.
• My wife shares cigarettes with him
• After the boy put on cologne, my wife told him he smelled "delicious"
• My wife has taken pictures of him shirtless on my atv for him to be able to post it to Facebook
• The boy no accompanies my wife when she drives to her mothers or simply drives to the store
• Three nights ago we were on the phone together to say goodnight when she told me that the boy has just shown up in our yard (10:30 pm) and that she was "going to hang up and call me back". It was 10 minutes before she returned the call with no explanation as to his appearance at our house.
About 3 weeks ago, after I'd informed my wife over the summer that I do not want him driving our vehicles, my wife told me she'd been in a "minor accident that wasn't her fault". I took it for what it and was very happy to know that she wasn't hurt. About two weeks ago, I asked her who was driving, low and behold, it was the boy. Either by willful omission or exaggerating, this was skipped in her original story about the accident.
So, I ask you, what do you make of all this?
I'm 40 something and am feeling disrespected in my marriage of 6 years. I want to express this to my wife in an appropriate manner however, every time it's mentioned an argument ensues.
Starting from the beginning, I live quite a distance from my wife and only get home 3-4 times a year. This has been the situation for the past 30 months. Since the beginning of this summer passed, my wife who's 30 something, has been doing renovations on properties we own with the volunteer assistance of a 16 year old neighborhood boy. They'd done extensive renovations together and I'm very appreciative for his assisting my wife in her workload. As I understand it though, as the summer progressed, he was at my house more and more often even when work was not required. My wife has allowed him access to my tools for his own needs, she's allowed him the use of our 4 wheel atvs, she's allowed him the use of our lawn tractor, as well as allowing him to be her driver even though he only has his learners permit; all of this unbeknownst to me. When I found out, I requested she disallow use and asked her why he was always hanging around. She'd informed me that he had nothing better to do and would rather be at our house than at his own as there was nothing to do at his house.
As irritating as the aforementioned is, I sincerely believe that my wife would never have an affair and I believe her sincere in her actions. My irritation comes from my unfortunate knowledge of subliminal messages. i.e. while home in early autumn….
• When interacting with the boy, my wife would "lean in closer" when sitting and talking with him.
• My wife is "playful" while interacting with the boy
• My wife gently plays with her har when they interact
• My wife and daughter participated in putting baby oil on him for tanning
• While we (my wife, the boy, and I) were driving together, me driving, the boy tells my wife what to put on the radio and when to turn it up.
• My wife shares cigarettes with him
• After the boy put on cologne, my wife told him he smelled "delicious"
• My wife has taken pictures of him shirtless on my atv for him to be able to post it to Facebook
• The boy no accompanies my wife when she drives to her mothers or simply drives to the store
• Three nights ago we were on the phone together to say goodnight when she told me that the boy has just shown up in our yard (10:30 pm) and that she was "going to hang up and call me back". It was 10 minutes before she returned the call with no explanation as to his appearance at our house.
About 3 weeks ago, after I'd informed my wife over the summer that I do not want him driving our vehicles, my wife told me she'd been in a "minor accident that wasn't her fault". I took it for what it and was very happy to know that she wasn't hurt. About two weeks ago, I asked her who was driving, low and behold, it was the boy. Either by willful omission or exaggerating, this was skipped in her original story about the accident.
So, I ask you, what do you make of all this?
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