Firstly, apologies for the long post. It's a complicated situation and I want to get it off my chest. Beyond that, any adivce or comments are appreciated.
I've been going out with this girl for the past 6 years. We have been together since school, went to the same (local) uni and this year we moved away together, to where she's doing her Master's. I'm still looking for a job, so for the moment she's paying the rent and bills, and I'm chipping in wherever I can.
For the past year or so, before we moved in together, we spent a lot of time apart, due to placements/interships and various family stuff we both had going on. It put a lot of strain on the realtionship and at times it was practically long distance. Just before we moved in (literally 4 days before, when everything was packed up and arranged), she told me that we shouldn't think of ourselves as 'together' anymore and that she wasn't sure that we wanted the same things or that we should be together long term.
(We had previously talked about getting married, spending our lives together etc. and I do still want that. She doesn't seem to, she says she doesn't want to be tied to me).
Despite this, we moved in together and we're living in a studio apartment relatively happily. We still get on really well and it's really fun doing day-to-day things (shopping, cooking, watching tv, going out etc.) together, especially as we saw so little of each other last year. She insists however that she doesn't want to lable what we are and asks me to just enjoy it and stop worrying. But I don't seem to be able to. There's no physical intimacy, no kissing or flirting, even though we sleep in the same bed. We're best friends, we were even before we started going out, but she seems adament that she doesn't want to be more than that, even if we're crazy close and living togther.
I do love her though, I want to marry her, have kids with her and go everywhere with her. I want her to feel the same about me. So my question is this: am I deluding myself by living here with her, half-pretending that we're a couple, while ignoring the things that are missing that I want? Or is she right, and I should stop worrying and enjoy living with someone I love and get on with - and things will sort themselves out in the end?
TL;DR - Living with a long-term, love-of-my-life GF who wants be roommates and best friends but nothing more. Am I deluding myself by going along with it, or should I just enjoy it?
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