My Wife and I moved to a new country it took us considerably longer to get our selves established then we thought it would and it was very stressful. We both had to work very long hours in low paid jobs out side our professions and for a time she worked in a job she hated working away in a remote location week on week off.
She became increasingly demanding and abusive both verbally and physically, I tried to ignore it and started doing my best to avoid arguments and hold it together as I had highly paid job prospects in the pipe line that I thought would solve our problems. I never ever hit her back and made a real effort to avoid insulting her back.
There was a woman I was working with (long hours) who I did develop a friendship with that I didn't think any thing of at the time but looking back I was using the friendship as a sort of substitute for having a happy relationship with my wife.
I ended up landing a good job, problems solved or so I thought. I resigned from the job were I meet the other woman.
My wife's behavior didn't change and she actually got worse. She attacked me in public for the first time, in front of one of the offices of the company I had just been hired by and then physically and verbally abused me for 3 of the 4 hour drive home. She said things I never thought she was capable of thinking let alone saying, really unbelievably nasty and hateful and I said little in response.
Two of the least hurtful things she said was saying no one else would want me. She also accused me of having an affair with the woman from work (I have never been unfaithful she is the only woman I have been with in my life). I felt so low and the next day when she left for a week working away I decided I'd show her and sleep with the girl I had been working with. I ended up getting the other woman alone at our place and then chickened out before trying to make thing happened, told her she had to leave and that we shouldn't contact each other and why. Now some times I regret not trying something.
At the time I felt so guilty about it to the point where I thought I deserved the abuse I had been receiving. I told my wife she was understandably up set and the abuse continued. She forgave me for having the other woman over and I eventually confronted her on the abuse and talked things through. She hasn't hit me again or said any thing nasty and has promised to get help. Trouble is I just can't look at her the same, I have tried and I just can't. We have similar life goals our family's like each other and we are compatible but I just can't get past how she treated me. I don't want to risk ever been made to feel that low again. I don't care how bad things get there isn't an excuse for abusing some one you claim to love. I wanted to be able to think about her like I used to but now I know I can't I'm not sure what to do.
She became increasingly demanding and abusive both verbally and physically, I tried to ignore it and started doing my best to avoid arguments and hold it together as I had highly paid job prospects in the pipe line that I thought would solve our problems. I never ever hit her back and made a real effort to avoid insulting her back.
There was a woman I was working with (long hours) who I did develop a friendship with that I didn't think any thing of at the time but looking back I was using the friendship as a sort of substitute for having a happy relationship with my wife.
I ended up landing a good job, problems solved or so I thought. I resigned from the job were I meet the other woman.
My wife's behavior didn't change and she actually got worse. She attacked me in public for the first time, in front of one of the offices of the company I had just been hired by and then physically and verbally abused me for 3 of the 4 hour drive home. She said things I never thought she was capable of thinking let alone saying, really unbelievably nasty and hateful and I said little in response.
Two of the least hurtful things she said was saying no one else would want me. She also accused me of having an affair with the woman from work (I have never been unfaithful she is the only woman I have been with in my life). I felt so low and the next day when she left for a week working away I decided I'd show her and sleep with the girl I had been working with. I ended up getting the other woman alone at our place and then chickened out before trying to make thing happened, told her she had to leave and that we shouldn't contact each other and why. Now some times I regret not trying something.
At the time I felt so guilty about it to the point where I thought I deserved the abuse I had been receiving. I told my wife she was understandably up set and the abuse continued. She forgave me for having the other woman over and I eventually confronted her on the abuse and talked things through. She hasn't hit me again or said any thing nasty and has promised to get help. Trouble is I just can't look at her the same, I have tried and I just can't. We have similar life goals our family's like each other and we are compatible but I just can't get past how she treated me. I don't want to risk ever been made to feel that low again. I don't care how bad things get there isn't an excuse for abusing some one you claim to love. I wanted to be able to think about her like I used to but now I know I can't I'm not sure what to do.
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