Hi, I've read posts from the site for quite awhile and finally decided to sign up and post for the first time. First time posting on any site actually so please bear with me.
I am a 35 year old male, who married a women who is 43 years old. We have been together for 7 years, married almost 4 of them. The first 4 years together the our physical relationship was unbelievable, both sexually and affectionately, for both of us. The last four years both the sex and primarily the affection has tapered off. It will pick back up a little bit for a week or so then die down for a few months. I am a very sexual person but lack of touching lying in the bed together being affectionate drives me insane. We are (maybe where is a better word) very similar people in that we both enjoyed sex and after sex affection. Here is where she says the problem is, I am 6'3 235lbs with little to no fat on me and I stay in shape. She has gained weight the past few years and says its her not me. I'm not talking about extreme amounts either, 20lbs maybe. She often tells me she feels insecure around me naked because I am "younger and fit". She almost seems to get upset when I run or lift weights. I try to get her to do it with me. We even bought a home elliptical for her to use. I don't say anything negative to her about it, I still find her as beautiful as the day I met her. Not to mention she is a confident, intelligent, successful woman and she is absolutely the sexiest woman i have ever been with. She thinks I'm attracted to 20yr old girls but if I wanted a 20 yr old that's what I would have gone after. I got what I wanted when I got her. When we do have sex there is no passion anymore. All the sex is initiated by me (she use to initiate almost as much as I), oral sex is non existent, forplay is minimal, and affection is short afterward. When I try to be affectionate it's almost like I'm annoying her, our kissing used to be passionate now it's almost awkward. We are both busy busy people and we have two kids (my stepchildren) whom I have a great relationship and love as my own. We don't make enough time for us, I know that, who does? We have the normal stresses that any middle class family would have, nothing out of the ordinary. I guess what I am asking, is this all about her and her weight gain and her perceived appearance? Is she just hitting a period in her life at 43 where her sex drive is decreasing? Is she just not physically attracted to me anymore? Is our marriage getting stale? It's getting to the point where it is affecting my confidence. I don't want my wife to have sex with me to keep me happy, I want her to want it again like she did. Any input or advice would be great. Especially from women with younger partners. Thanks
I am a 35 year old male, who married a women who is 43 years old. We have been together for 7 years, married almost 4 of them. The first 4 years together the our physical relationship was unbelievable, both sexually and affectionately, for both of us. The last four years both the sex and primarily the affection has tapered off. It will pick back up a little bit for a week or so then die down for a few months. I am a very sexual person but lack of touching lying in the bed together being affectionate drives me insane. We are (maybe where is a better word) very similar people in that we both enjoyed sex and after sex affection. Here is where she says the problem is, I am 6'3 235lbs with little to no fat on me and I stay in shape. She has gained weight the past few years and says its her not me. I'm not talking about extreme amounts either, 20lbs maybe. She often tells me she feels insecure around me naked because I am "younger and fit". She almost seems to get upset when I run or lift weights. I try to get her to do it with me. We even bought a home elliptical for her to use. I don't say anything negative to her about it, I still find her as beautiful as the day I met her. Not to mention she is a confident, intelligent, successful woman and she is absolutely the sexiest woman i have ever been with. She thinks I'm attracted to 20yr old girls but if I wanted a 20 yr old that's what I would have gone after. I got what I wanted when I got her. When we do have sex there is no passion anymore. All the sex is initiated by me (she use to initiate almost as much as I), oral sex is non existent, forplay is minimal, and affection is short afterward. When I try to be affectionate it's almost like I'm annoying her, our kissing used to be passionate now it's almost awkward. We are both busy busy people and we have two kids (my stepchildren) whom I have a great relationship and love as my own. We don't make enough time for us, I know that, who does? We have the normal stresses that any middle class family would have, nothing out of the ordinary. I guess what I am asking, is this all about her and her weight gain and her perceived appearance? Is she just hitting a period in her life at 43 where her sex drive is decreasing? Is she just not physically attracted to me anymore? Is our marriage getting stale? It's getting to the point where it is affecting my confidence. I don't want my wife to have sex with me to keep me happy, I want her to want it again like she did. Any input or advice would be great. Especially from women with younger partners. Thanks
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