I think I'm over it...my marriage that is. I finally registered here but I have been a lurker for a long time. My husband's EA was 3 years ago and I read these forums for advice and for support. I was completely crushed by it and well I guess even though years have passed I am still not over it.
I followed the steps listed here, filed for divorce, sought out therapy, began seeking personal fulfillment outside of the marriage. He begged for forgiveness, agreed to anything and everything I wanted and we started couples therapy. Well, I guess I got so distracted with school etc (I went back for an advanced degree after all this, something he was always against) that I never noticed when the therapy stopped. He was too busy etc. Now he completely balks at any mention of it. I guess we have pretty much rug swept... :scratchhead:
I continue my own therapy to this day and generally keep myself occupied. But here is the thing...now I am wondering wtf I am even still with him for? I do everything alone. I went bungee jumping alone (he's scared of heights), planned a skydiving trip with a friend (he won't even go watch), went scuba diving by myself (he's scared of it), go to amusement parks alone (he won't ride any rides), go to music festivals alone (he's not into music), wine tastings alone (he only drinks beer), microbrew festivals alone (only domestic beer), plan and dream about exotic trips that I will never get to take (because he won't leave his comfort zone), well you get the idea...
Now tonight I am sitting here on Father's Day after another fight (he's a rage-aholic and flipped out that the grill ran out of propane) wondering where my life is going. I decided to work it out for the kids but come on... Tonight he scared the kids to tears and I am just so beyond caring.
I tried so hard to keep this little family together and now I'm wondering if we would ALL be better off without him. I hate even saying that out loud. Both products of divorce, neither of us wanted to do that to our kids. Financially it would be a disaster and I guess maybe I was partially staying for that too. It's not that he makes a lot of money or anything, it's just that neither of us do. If we separate we'd probably have to sell the house and both of us would end up renting and struggling. I'd never finish school either...
Ugh, I don't know what to do. I guess I just wanted to introduce myself and whine a bit and just be among people who may just understand what I am going through here. Thanks for listening.
I followed the steps listed here, filed for divorce, sought out therapy, began seeking personal fulfillment outside of the marriage. He begged for forgiveness, agreed to anything and everything I wanted and we started couples therapy. Well, I guess I got so distracted with school etc (I went back for an advanced degree after all this, something he was always against) that I never noticed when the therapy stopped. He was too busy etc. Now he completely balks at any mention of it. I guess we have pretty much rug swept... :scratchhead:
I continue my own therapy to this day and generally keep myself occupied. But here is the thing...now I am wondering wtf I am even still with him for? I do everything alone. I went bungee jumping alone (he's scared of heights), planned a skydiving trip with a friend (he won't even go watch), went scuba diving by myself (he's scared of it), go to amusement parks alone (he won't ride any rides), go to music festivals alone (he's not into music), wine tastings alone (he only drinks beer), microbrew festivals alone (only domestic beer), plan and dream about exotic trips that I will never get to take (because he won't leave his comfort zone), well you get the idea...
Now tonight I am sitting here on Father's Day after another fight (he's a rage-aholic and flipped out that the grill ran out of propane) wondering where my life is going. I decided to work it out for the kids but come on... Tonight he scared the kids to tears and I am just so beyond caring.
I tried so hard to keep this little family together and now I'm wondering if we would ALL be better off without him. I hate even saying that out loud. Both products of divorce, neither of us wanted to do that to our kids. Financially it would be a disaster and I guess maybe I was partially staying for that too. It's not that he makes a lot of money or anything, it's just that neither of us do. If we separate we'd probably have to sell the house and both of us would end up renting and struggling. I'd never finish school either...
Ugh, I don't know what to do. I guess I just wanted to introduce myself and whine a bit and just be among people who may just understand what I am going through here. Thanks for listening.
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