Hi, I am totally new to this so please forgive me if I get this a little wrong but I am sure I will learn as I got on!
About 2 months ago my wife and I had a bit of a row, nothing major but she suddenly went totally COLD on me and said she needed space. I was totally shattered as I had always thought we were soul mates and that we would be together forever. she told me I was controlling and she had a void in her life and was not happy.
We have been together for 14 years and have 3 children. 2 of these are from my wife previous relationship. 19 year old from an old boyfriend, 16 year old from previous marriage and a 7 year old from our relationship.
My wife is 38 and so am I and when we got together I took on the children like they were my own - for all intents and purposes they are my children and I have never thought or acted any different.
After 2 week of space-ish (, 4 - 5 days away by her and 4 by me) I told her I was moving back in because we couldn't get anywhere without communication. Things weren't right and she was still so cold and we were getting no-where so on the 1st May I confronted her about my belief that she had been having an affair, where emotionally or physically I did not know but knew something was going on.
She admitted that she had had a 6 week affair with a guy from the gym (someone that I also knew). To be honest, I wasn't angry but relieved as I has suspected this for a long time and I finally found out the truth.
That night we had massive conversations and she begged me for forgiveness. Turned out that she had been sleeping with him when she was in the hotel whilst having 'space' but he had dumped her the weekend before I found out. She told me that she wanted us, me, our family, our new home, everything so I made a mistake and trusted her words.... forgave her!
she later explained that she felt hurt and rejected from being dumped which I understood. In my eyes, i had forgave her so would be there to support the issues mentally this gave her - she was shocked by my understanding.
NOW... she has gone back on all her words. show no remorse and says she is not sure she wants us or that we will make it through. She is acting like I am the enemy and that she is the one in control.
In my eyes she is now bullying me.... we get on well for a while and then she batters me down to get control again saying she doesn't know what she wants.
Today... I found the 180..... does this stuff really work?
I really do love her and our life but I feel like a broken person at the moment.
4) Length of the affair
5) D-Day or when the affair was discovered by the BS
6) How did you find out ?
7) Identity of the OM/OW (Work colleague, family friend etc)
9) WS's current stance on the situation.
10) What do you want to do ?
About 2 months ago my wife and I had a bit of a row, nothing major but she suddenly went totally COLD on me and said she needed space. I was totally shattered as I had always thought we were soul mates and that we would be together forever. she told me I was controlling and she had a void in her life and was not happy.
We have been together for 14 years and have 3 children. 2 of these are from my wife previous relationship. 19 year old from an old boyfriend, 16 year old from previous marriage and a 7 year old from our relationship.
My wife is 38 and so am I and when we got together I took on the children like they were my own - for all intents and purposes they are my children and I have never thought or acted any different.
After 2 week of space-ish (, 4 - 5 days away by her and 4 by me) I told her I was moving back in because we couldn't get anywhere without communication. Things weren't right and she was still so cold and we were getting no-where so on the 1st May I confronted her about my belief that she had been having an affair, where emotionally or physically I did not know but knew something was going on.
She admitted that she had had a 6 week affair with a guy from the gym (someone that I also knew). To be honest, I wasn't angry but relieved as I has suspected this for a long time and I finally found out the truth.
That night we had massive conversations and she begged me for forgiveness. Turned out that she had been sleeping with him when she was in the hotel whilst having 'space' but he had dumped her the weekend before I found out. She told me that she wanted us, me, our family, our new home, everything so I made a mistake and trusted her words.... forgave her!
she later explained that she felt hurt and rejected from being dumped which I understood. In my eyes, i had forgave her so would be there to support the issues mentally this gave her - she was shocked by my understanding.
NOW... she has gone back on all her words. show no remorse and says she is not sure she wants us or that we will make it through. She is acting like I am the enemy and that she is the one in control.
In my eyes she is now bullying me.... we get on well for a while and then she batters me down to get control again saying she doesn't know what she wants.
Today... I found the 180..... does this stuff really work?
I really do love her and our life but I feel like a broken person at the moment.
4) Length of the affair
5) D-Day or when the affair was discovered by the BS
6) How did you find out ?
7) Identity of the OM/OW (Work colleague, family friend etc)
9) WS's current stance on the situation.
10) What do you want to do ?
Put the internet to work for you.
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