I've been with my bf for about a year and we've been living together for 2 months. We're both easy going people, both recently divorced, are in love and talk about our long future together. Since this is our second time around, we very much want to avoid the same mistakes made in our previous marriages. We are both mid 30s.
So, things are awesome..except he's a gamer! Now, I don't mind so much really, because I mostly just think of it as a hobby and as his way of winding down after a long day at work. I do my stuff (read, internet, watch tv, cook, etc), he games.
My issue is specifically about one particular game (League of Legends) that is all consuming..when he plays he is totally unavailable for around 40 minutes at a time. Headphones on, chatting with other people online in the game. He can't walk away from it because he'll get black listed or banned or something. We have spoken about it numerous times because I have a toddler (not his child) and when he is playing both me and my little one are completely ignored (computer is in the lounge room). I'm not a precious princess who needs constant attention at all, but I just think this is so completely anti-social and sets a bad example for my child and I fear that him being ignored by a beloved male role model will influence him negatively in his formative years.
Our relationship is wonderful, great sex, great communication, similar outlook on life, etc but I'm just starting to really wonder if I will be able to live with this because while I don't want to stop him from doing something he loves, I also feel the nature of this game is enough to come between us if things continue as is. What if we had a baby and I needed help, but he's playing and can't get up for another 20 minutes. It's ridiculous really. He has said he will make changes to help our relationship which I believe he will do but it's too soon to tell. Just wanting to hear from others who may've set boundaries about things like this.
So, things are awesome..except he's a gamer! Now, I don't mind so much really, because I mostly just think of it as a hobby and as his way of winding down after a long day at work. I do my stuff (read, internet, watch tv, cook, etc), he games.
My issue is specifically about one particular game (League of Legends) that is all consuming..when he plays he is totally unavailable for around 40 minutes at a time. Headphones on, chatting with other people online in the game. He can't walk away from it because he'll get black listed or banned or something. We have spoken about it numerous times because I have a toddler (not his child) and when he is playing both me and my little one are completely ignored (computer is in the lounge room). I'm not a precious princess who needs constant attention at all, but I just think this is so completely anti-social and sets a bad example for my child and I fear that him being ignored by a beloved male role model will influence him negatively in his formative years.
Our relationship is wonderful, great sex, great communication, similar outlook on life, etc but I'm just starting to really wonder if I will be able to live with this because while I don't want to stop him from doing something he loves, I also feel the nature of this game is enough to come between us if things continue as is. What if we had a baby and I needed help, but he's playing and can't get up for another 20 minutes. It's ridiculous really. He has said he will make changes to help our relationship which I believe he will do but it's too soon to tell. Just wanting to hear from others who may've set boundaries about things like this.
Put the internet to work for you.
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