I am 40yo male with a great career. Been married 12+ years. Marriage is on the rocks as i have gotten more successful. She cheated 5 years ago on a ONS, we got MC and have come to live with it. We have 1 kid (3 year old). Wife is stay at home mom but we have our son in day care a couple times a month. As my income rose, my wife's drive to get stuff done around the house has shrunk, to the point I do most of the cooking and hired out the cleaning. In the last couple of years my income has gone thru the roof. talking 500k+ a year. We live in a smaller town in IL so making 500K is a lot of money. I am work on a huge deal right now and hope to close it in a year. It could make it so i could retire at 45.
The deal we had between us was:
1. We both would work 100% on raising our son
2. I would work full time and produce 100% of the money.
3. She would manage the home (Laundry, Shopping, Cleaning, etc) -Which BTW last year we got a cleaning company so she would have more time with our son.
4. I would handle all the other stuff - car breaks down, taxes, legal, banking, bills
Now to the meat of the story:
I had 2 neighbors approach me in the last 2 weeks with off comments. One was something to the effect of "your wife is lucky, she sits on the deck in the sun all day reading books/talking on phone while your slaving away" - When i asked her what she did that day she said the kid was a handful all day, didn't get any house work done, etc, etc. Come to find out our son was over at a friends house that day on a play date. She has been doing this 5-10 times a month. The other days he is in day care for socialization reasons. We want him exposed to other kids. Nothing gets done around the house and i am constantly fighting about simple things like shopping, laundry, etc etc.
Second one was from a mutual friend. They told me that my wife was drunk a couple weeks back with his wife and girl friends and said that she was waiting for me to win my big deal so then she can divorce me and get half and be set for life. Was this drunk talk or what should i do.
I want to have a good marriage, i have never cheated but have had plenty of opportunity, i take care of my son, i work hard, i am building a great future for my family, but i feel like i am dragging a cinderblock around all the time in the form of my wife.
we don't have sex, we don't talk, its almost like we live 2 different worlds. She doesn't take care of herself, she has gain an unhealthy weight, she loafs around most days, PJs till mid-afternoon, you get the picture. She is a great mom when she puts effort into it. I buy her flowers, take her on trips, dinner, treat her like a queen and I get zero in return.
sorry for the dump, i had no where else to go.
I am getting burnt out and not sure what to do.
Long time reader, first time poster
The deal we had between us was:
1. We both would work 100% on raising our son
2. I would work full time and produce 100% of the money.
3. She would manage the home (Laundry, Shopping, Cleaning, etc) -Which BTW last year we got a cleaning company so she would have more time with our son.
4. I would handle all the other stuff - car breaks down, taxes, legal, banking, bills
Now to the meat of the story:
I had 2 neighbors approach me in the last 2 weeks with off comments. One was something to the effect of "your wife is lucky, she sits on the deck in the sun all day reading books/talking on phone while your slaving away" - When i asked her what she did that day she said the kid was a handful all day, didn't get any house work done, etc, etc. Come to find out our son was over at a friends house that day on a play date. She has been doing this 5-10 times a month. The other days he is in day care for socialization reasons. We want him exposed to other kids. Nothing gets done around the house and i am constantly fighting about simple things like shopping, laundry, etc etc.
Second one was from a mutual friend. They told me that my wife was drunk a couple weeks back with his wife and girl friends and said that she was waiting for me to win my big deal so then she can divorce me and get half and be set for life. Was this drunk talk or what should i do.
I want to have a good marriage, i have never cheated but have had plenty of opportunity, i take care of my son, i work hard, i am building a great future for my family, but i feel like i am dragging a cinderblock around all the time in the form of my wife.
we don't have sex, we don't talk, its almost like we live 2 different worlds. She doesn't take care of herself, she has gain an unhealthy weight, she loafs around most days, PJs till mid-afternoon, you get the picture. She is a great mom when she puts effort into it. I buy her flowers, take her on trips, dinner, treat her like a queen and I get zero in return.
sorry for the dump, i had no where else to go.
I am getting burnt out and not sure what to do.
Long time reader, first time poster
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