I write in my diary about once or twice a month about general things that are affecting me and I have done this for over four years now.
Last week after my younger sisters GCSE exams had finished she decided to go through some of my old clothes in my draw to see if they fit her while I was in an exam, and wrapped up in a top was my diary.
I wrote one extract after I came home from a really bad A2 exam last week when I was stressed with everything that I was angry with her for being "selfish" "self centred" "she has a dark side" and is "greedy". I know I need to grow up but at the time it made me feel better.
I didn't just pluck this stuff out of thin air either, we have a lot of family issues after my Grandpa died 9 years ago, my Mum got depression and then my Dad got cancer, and then my Nan got cancer and there is no one I can talk to but this book which has helped me reflect on a lot because I used to get really angry. Also, for the last two years I have been the only person to stay in contact with my Nan (she doesn't send any of her four children's families birthday card etc or anything) and when she gave me money towards my holiday (unexpectedly) for my 18th. My sister has now decided that she wants to see my Nan often enough that she will get money as well and keeps saying that she wishes she had grandparents that just bought her stuff like her best friends family who is going to Florida in the summer because of grandparents. We don't talk to my Dad's parents often either. She is just being greedy though, I genuinely love my Nan and don't care if she spends her money on hol idays or diamonds and not me, I just want a relationship there and my sister is pushing that in my face.
In my family we don't decision things like this though. She only read a few lines about it and what she had ranted on about my Nan and money for 20 minutes on our evening walk the night before. Now she hates me. We used to be close and she won't even answer 'where is the milk?'
What can I do? I'm not even angry.
Put the internet to work for you.
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