I'm 17 years old; I came out to myself last September after many long years of denial, which are mostly due to my Roman Catholic background and so far the only people I've come out to are my sister and my three close friends.
My parents are extremely homophobic; they both grew up in small villages and are extremely old-fashioned, badly opinionated about everything, close minded, judgemental people so coming to terms with being gay has been extremely difficult. It worsened my anxiety and lately, my doctor diagnosed me with PTSD.
Keeping this secret from them is proving to be an emotional rollercoaster; I really want them to know and to just get it over and done with, for them to stop asking about girlfriends or to stop dreaming that I'm going to have a perfectly straight family with a girl etc. They create a lot of boundaries for me and failing to meet those boundaries usually results in a lot of discordance.
I know that telling them is going to result in me either being kicked out (the extremity) or them ignoring me/not talking to me anymore, not letting me by myself, forcing me to become straight by praying, constantly crying and hating me etc. But not telling them is worsening my anxiety, my depression and it's making me emotionally sick inside because I feel like if they knew they wouldn't treat me the same and they're only loving the straight version of me; once I drop this huge bomb on the family, they won't ever treat me the same considering how homophobic they are. Basically it's killing me to know that their love has an expiration date because I'm 100% sure they won't be okay with it and will hate me and so is my sister (I asked for a second opinion).
But I really can't keep it up anymore. What should I do? :(
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