I'm currently in the beginning stages of a separation with my husband of a year and a half. we've been together for four years, but were off for eight months prior us getting back together/married.
He was diagnosed with cancer right after we got married & it was really hard for me seeing him in that way for three months of chemotherapy and radiation. He's currently in remission and doing fantastic. I have struggled with depression since I was young and finally got over my stigma of antidepressants, so I started them last summer because I felt myself get into a deeper slump. Later on that year, I experienced two family deaths that were very troubling for me so that didn't help my depression in any way. I would go to work and be very "on" and work hard and as soon as I came home, I would lie in bed all day, drained from the day in general and a cloudy mind, offering nothing to my husband.
This went on for months, and a couple of weeks ago he told me that he's tired of trying and me not giving anything back (which I can admit to doing) and at first wanted a divorce and that we should separate. I was highly upset and started to have suicidal thoughts because I was so sad and embarrassed, but as the days passed I realized that a separation would be good for us so that I can just work through my depression as well as properly grieve through the loss of my family members.
Since discussing our separation in a rational manner, he has a change of heart and hasn't considered divorce the verdict of our marriage, but we both know the separation will do us both some good. He moves at the end of the month and I will stay at our apartment and continue to work, but I'm still sad about it and am trying prepare myself mentally for when he leaves (we are still living together, and there is no tension).
I'm just not sure I can get through it when he leaves because it'll make the separation real for me.
Any advice?
He was diagnosed with cancer right after we got married & it was really hard for me seeing him in that way for three months of chemotherapy and radiation. He's currently in remission and doing fantastic. I have struggled with depression since I was young and finally got over my stigma of antidepressants, so I started them last summer because I felt myself get into a deeper slump. Later on that year, I experienced two family deaths that were very troubling for me so that didn't help my depression in any way. I would go to work and be very "on" and work hard and as soon as I came home, I would lie in bed all day, drained from the day in general and a cloudy mind, offering nothing to my husband.
This went on for months, and a couple of weeks ago he told me that he's tired of trying and me not giving anything back (which I can admit to doing) and at first wanted a divorce and that we should separate. I was highly upset and started to have suicidal thoughts because I was so sad and embarrassed, but as the days passed I realized that a separation would be good for us so that I can just work through my depression as well as properly grieve through the loss of my family members.
Since discussing our separation in a rational manner, he has a change of heart and hasn't considered divorce the verdict of our marriage, but we both know the separation will do us both some good. He moves at the end of the month and I will stay at our apartment and continue to work, but I'm still sad about it and am trying prepare myself mentally for when he leaves (we are still living together, and there is no tension).
I'm just not sure I can get through it when he leaves because it'll make the separation real for me.
Any advice?
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