Hello,
Thanks for taking the time to read this and offer me any words of wisdom you may have. We've been married for ten years and have three kids. There are many things to cover. I will do my best to relay them here.
She continuously talks down to me like I'm a child or stupid. Whenever I call her out on it she gets angry and says that I am nit picking and analyzing everthing she says and does or trying to start a fight with her. I'm to the point now that I am on edge around her and feel stupid and unworthy. Here's an example from last night:
She was loading her vehicle up with stuff, pointed to the back door and said "can you open this?". I took my opener out and hit the button for the back door to auto-open. A few minutes later she tried opening a side door and it was locked. She yells, "What's going on here, I asked you to open this!!" I reply, "You pointed to the door and said 'open this' so I thought you wanted the back door open". She yells,"NO, how can I get in here if it's locked?!!" I reply "Why didn't you say unlock the doors then?" She screams "Why do you have to be such a control freak??!! I'm working here! I'M WORKING HERE!!!". I walk away mad and defeated. An hour later she acts like nothing ever happened.
We saw a town garage sale in a subdivision so I turn into it and read the sign that says FRI and SAT. This was Thursday, by the way. She notoriously goes to these town sales a day early as they are setting up and will let her buy stuff. I ask her, Do you want me to continue through or turn around?". She says "The sign says friday..why would I stay, it's common sense!". I said "I don't care, it's not about me I was asking if YOU wanted to stay". She replies "It's so frustrating with you, sometimes you don't use common sense"! So, I got mad and then she gets mad at me for getting mad. She then says "since you don't like things about me and I don't like things about you maybe we shouldn't be married". I bite my tongue and don't say a word. An hour later it's as though nothing happened.
There are many more of those episodes that I could bring up but I think you get the picture.
Intimacy: 95% of the time I am the one to initiate. When she does initiate, it's not sensual, almost like it's a job. She doesn't kiss me, etc. I almost feel like she is keeping an invisible wall between us and stays as far away from me as possible. I ask her if she's attracted to me and shes says yes. She eventually gets mad at me for being too insecure. She doesn't act interested in me or attracted to me whatsover.
She has become obsessed with Facebook and her phone. She ignores me most of the time while on her phone. If I say something than she gets mad and calls me a control freak. I just want to spend quality time whenever possible. Many times she starts on her phone at 5:30 am. She's not secretive and never hides her phone. She keeps Facebook logged in all the time and never acts weird if I happen to look at her account. There's no weird texting going on either as I have been checking the cell phone activity online.
There is a lot more that I can elaborate on in the future. She has me feeling that I am the one causing all the problems even though I know it's not true. I have suggested marriage counseling before. She said "you can go if you want to, I'm not going".
Any words of wisdom, please? I am not happy but yet I love her so much. I cling to every little bit of attention she may give me. I love her and I love our family. I don't want to leave but sometimes I do.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and offer me any words of wisdom you may have. We've been married for ten years and have three kids. There are many things to cover. I will do my best to relay them here.
She continuously talks down to me like I'm a child or stupid. Whenever I call her out on it she gets angry and says that I am nit picking and analyzing everthing she says and does or trying to start a fight with her. I'm to the point now that I am on edge around her and feel stupid and unworthy. Here's an example from last night:
She was loading her vehicle up with stuff, pointed to the back door and said "can you open this?". I took my opener out and hit the button for the back door to auto-open. A few minutes later she tried opening a side door and it was locked. She yells, "What's going on here, I asked you to open this!!" I reply, "You pointed to the door and said 'open this' so I thought you wanted the back door open". She yells,"NO, how can I get in here if it's locked?!!" I reply "Why didn't you say unlock the doors then?" She screams "Why do you have to be such a control freak??!! I'm working here! I'M WORKING HERE!!!". I walk away mad and defeated. An hour later she acts like nothing ever happened.
We saw a town garage sale in a subdivision so I turn into it and read the sign that says FRI and SAT. This was Thursday, by the way. She notoriously goes to these town sales a day early as they are setting up and will let her buy stuff. I ask her, Do you want me to continue through or turn around?". She says "The sign says friday..why would I stay, it's common sense!". I said "I don't care, it's not about me I was asking if YOU wanted to stay". She replies "It's so frustrating with you, sometimes you don't use common sense"! So, I got mad and then she gets mad at me for getting mad. She then says "since you don't like things about me and I don't like things about you maybe we shouldn't be married". I bite my tongue and don't say a word. An hour later it's as though nothing happened.
There are many more of those episodes that I could bring up but I think you get the picture.
Intimacy: 95% of the time I am the one to initiate. When she does initiate, it's not sensual, almost like it's a job. She doesn't kiss me, etc. I almost feel like she is keeping an invisible wall between us and stays as far away from me as possible. I ask her if she's attracted to me and shes says yes. She eventually gets mad at me for being too insecure. She doesn't act interested in me or attracted to me whatsover.
She has become obsessed with Facebook and her phone. She ignores me most of the time while on her phone. If I say something than she gets mad and calls me a control freak. I just want to spend quality time whenever possible. Many times she starts on her phone at 5:30 am. She's not secretive and never hides her phone. She keeps Facebook logged in all the time and never acts weird if I happen to look at her account. There's no weird texting going on either as I have been checking the cell phone activity online.
There is a lot more that I can elaborate on in the future. She has me feeling that I am the one causing all the problems even though I know it's not true. I have suggested marriage counseling before. She said "you can go if you want to, I'm not going".
Any words of wisdom, please? I am not happy but yet I love her so much. I cling to every little bit of attention she may give me. I love her and I love our family. I don't want to leave but sometimes I do.
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