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Hello Everyone,
I'm very new to all of this but have nowhere else to turn. Not sure where to start but here we go :)
Dated my now husband for about 2 1/2 years it was a long distance relationship but only about an hour away from each other. We had our ups and downs like all relationships do but I mainly struggled with our sex life. He is bipolar but its very well controlled with medication and as a result of the medications he takes his sex drive did not seem to match mine. I was at his apartment waiting for him to get home from work and noticed all this glitter on his bathroom sink and the rug in the bathroom was gone as well. Well needless to say if started wondering about the glitter mostly. I got on his computer and found in the history escort websites. So, of course i confronted him and he had all kinds of excuses which i settled for which only lasted about one day. I emailed him this long email telling him he needed to be upfront and we would work it out blah blah blah. He did come clean and said it was a naked massage and they had no intercourse or oral sex because he told her straight up he was in a relationship and did not want to jeopardize it :rofl: I ended up breaking off the relationship and he was devastated. He begged and begged me to come back and he did finally convince me he would never ever do it again and blah blah blah. We got married 2 year after that incident. I never doubted him again and felt the trust back into the relationship, but for some reason, and i could not tell you why i started the whole non-trusting thing with him again. I think that it might have started when we were talking about casinos cheating people and he made the comment "once a cheater always a cheater" hmmmmm! I started to snoop on his computer and of course found porn which i have no problem with, i watch it and we watch it together. Looking in the cookies file i started seeing cheating, affair sites and so on. I also know that if you go to a porn site it will put all kinds of other stuff in that file. I came across something that read "eros-nol" so i looked it up and guess what an escort site. He had also been to New Orleans on a gambling trip and that was the specific location of the escort site. So i asked him about it and of course he claims that it was just porn site ads going into the cookies file. I said ok but i have continued to snoop and snoop still finding a lot of porn and cheating sites in cookies and in his spam folder in his email. I have check phone records, credit cards, text messages, looked through his phone and have found nothing. Last night i was snooping deep into his computer and found 'escorts-lasvegas" guess what he just went to Vegas last month, but still no other indications that he hired one. He is very kind and loving to me never gets mad always in a happy mood makes me feel good about myself and would do anything for me if i asked. He has proven he is a man of his word to me he is a man of his word when it comes to living life. I'm not saying I'm perfect i have many of my own issues that i need to work on. I deal with depression all of the time and i can treat him very badly, but he just puts up with it (not sure why). In a way i feel I'm obsessed with catching him cheating but something (i think) keeps telling me to keep digging. I'm just at a loss!:(

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