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How many griefs should I get through?

We separated after 23.5 years of marriage back in Dec 2012. He asked for divorce this January after one year separated. And I am looking that divorce papers will be signed until the end of this year... after 2 years of separation, long but somehow short.

Empty nest, his personal childhood traumas, closing his heart, no intimacy, depression on him after kids left, pride.

I kept hope during that year, but I must admit I was devastated when he asked... I am looking for divorce to be e

My question is... how many griefs do I have to go through?

1. When we separated but I had hope
2. When he asked for divorce
3. When we get divorce

Which phase is the worse? I am between 2 and 3.

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