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How to work through 16 years of shame?

hi Ladies,

Please, I need your advice.

We have been married for almost 15 years. My first, her second. No kids. She is younger than me by 10 years, I am over 60.

How can I make amends to my wife for some horrible, hateful things I said to her in the beginning of our relationship? I accept full responsibility for this.

I don't know why I said these...'cause I am a frigging idiot. I spoke before thinking.

I have tried to make amends over the years but I have never been successful.

This is the one hurtful, harmful aspect of our relationship. Everything else is good (afaik). But this issue is so fundamental. I don't know how to make amends, to apologize, to make her feel beautiful, wanted, desired, lovely, sexy, smart, and awesome (and she is all those things to me).

We get into fights or 'things' every so often when she remembers the things I said and did to her, which diminished her self-confidence and self-esteem (and continues to do when she remembers this).

I have tried to show her how much she means to me. But I've never been able to remove stain of hurt and shame.

Please...I love her so much, even more now after all these years, how can I repair this sludge in our foundation, that I put there?

IFTTT

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