Hi, forgive me for giving my family and relationship history as I know some people just want to address the issue at hand, but I think the things I experienced up to this point have made me into the person I am today and it may be the reason why I continue to struggle with this issue. I was technically raised in a family with two parents in the same home, but my father had a very tough work schedule and he was only home on the weekends. My parents didnt have much money, so we didnt do many things as a family besides attend church with the occasional fast food dinner when my mom didnt have time to cook dinner. My marriage is my second relationship as an adult. My ex from my 1st relationship got bored with me also, but she was very harsh when it came to me coming up with ideas and things that we could do. She would always reject my ideas or say that my ideas or suggestions were stupid so I stopped trying. We would always go out to dinner and a movie as that was the only thing I could count on her agreeing to. I understand the issue is me as this same exact thing is starting to happen with my marriage minus the harsh rejection of my ideas and suggestions on her part. We have been married for 5 years. We have a 2 year old who we both love unconditionally. We both work full time jobs, but I have a compressed work schedule. Meaning that I only work 14-15 days each month. I have our little one everyday that I'm off to help cut down on child care cost. Financially we are both able to meet our financial obligations and I am able to save a little bit every month. We both split the house and family expenses. My wife has significantly more credit card debt than me and other financial obligations. My expenses are mainly student loan and vehicle upkeep for both of us. I have the money to do things that interest myself and my wife, but that's not the issue. The issue is I'm not interested in that many things. I like to do 3-4 things every once in a while and thats it. I am open to new ideas and things that my wife suggest, but I have a hard time thinking of things to do as a couple. I enjoy dinner and a movie like most, but I feel like thats so plain and I have used that as a go to whenever my wife and I have some free time. I want to and have always wanted to try white water rafting and skydiving, but my wife is not interested in any way and her concerns are completely valid. I dont want to do those things alone because I want to share new experiences with my wife. This isnt the first time she has expressed a lack of interest in things I would like to try. She has expressed interest in some things that I have suggested in the past, but they have been things that I consider plain (see above). We do things as a couple, dont get me wrong, but she is extremely frustrated with me because I never come up with anything for us to do. I have said "hey lets go to the park and have a picnic" her response "no we both ha ve allergies and the pollen is high, so no." I have suggested going to a cooking class, or other events that are through services like living social and she says we cant do it because of our little one and all of our little ones allergies and its hard to have someone babysit that she trust. I just feel like I get rejected everytime I suggest something and I dont know what to do. I really dont want to lose my wife and my little one be forced to grow up in a single parent home. I dont want my little one to have to go through that. My wife is bored and I suffer from a lack of confidence and experience with relationships. I hope someone out there can give me some insight. I have communicated my issues to my wife, but she sees them as excuses. I'm not sure where I am going wrong.
P.S. I dont have many friends and would be considered a loner by many standards. I cant really talk to my family or the few close friends that I have because in the past they always take my side when I try to get advice. I need someone to tell me the truth that can look at the situation transparently.
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P.S. I dont have many friends and would be considered a loner by many standards. I cant really talk to my family or the few close friends that I have because in the past they always take my side when I try to get advice. I need someone to tell me the truth that can look at the situation transparently.
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